Feeling helpless!!!!

Hello and welcome to the community, although I'm so sorry for the reason you find yourself here. You have come to the best place though, for support, accurate information and just all round us being there for you. 

My Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last November, an aggressive form that was quite large, and deep within the breast. I was so terrified, and although her outcome is a lot different to your wife's, I completely understand how horrible and scary it is. I mean, I didnt understand the phrase 'I froze and felt numb and dont remember what was said during the appointment' but after that bombshell, I do understand. 

While it's so lovely and admirable that you stay strong and keep a brave face for your Wife and Daughter, you should try to just make sure you take a little time for yourself. Whether that means walking outside in the garden, sitting for 5 minutes and clearing your head. Or doing something you enjoy doing, maybe a hobby or something that will help to take your mind off of everything even a tiny bit. Also, opening up about your own feelings is something helpful, which is why I'm so glad and happy that you've come to us to express these feelings. Maybe a friend could also be a good person to lean on, someone who isnt so close that you feel you need to be strong with, but someone close enough who you feel comfortable opening up to. I also keep a 'Positive Jar' (I'll have to post a photo of this one day, I always speak about it!) But it's just finding a positive out of each day. I do it right before bed. I write down a positive, and pop it in my jar, to read on a day that I feel particularly low. Even if it's a little thing, it helps to pluck out the good things each day, so that you know there is always something that happened that chimed in with the bad. 

Either way, you are being such an incredible support not only to your wife, but by the sound of it, to the rest of your family. That is what they all need the most right now, so continue being there for one another, taking each day as it comes, and being strong. 

Lots of love and healing to you, your wife and family, 

Alex xxxxx

I'm afraid i don't have any personal advice, as we aren't in that position at the moment, but I have been recommended a charity called SMILE, which is for young adults with cancer and their families - isn't it amazing to be called a young adult at forty-something! They have a facebook page and events. My hubby (who has just finished treatment) doesn't want to meet other people with this shared experience, but I do, as I believe it would really benefit me. My hubby has a 50% chance of surviving five years but now treatment has finished, he's pretty much gone back into denial. 

Thinking of you