Things are quite hard for me at the moment both my dad and my brother have cancer.
My brother has stage 4 aggressive bladder cancer, he had chemo and all was going well until the Christmas before he suffered a massive stroke which has left him with minimal speech and deep anxiety and depression. Cancer wise he was doing ok and had two clear scans but over the past couple of months he’s found some lumps under his arms and neck. Hes also had blood in his stoma and very dark urine. He’s also suffering from extreme dizziness and this past week his blood pressure has been through the roof. We are awaiting his latest scan results but I’m fearing the worse.
My dad has end stage pancreatic cancer and what’s worse is that he’s on his own as I live four hours away. I am going to see him on Friday. He’s also now got diabetes which isn’t helping. Also because of data protection I don’t know how long he has or exactly what his condition is all I know is that the district nurse goes twice a day to give him his insulin and he has a carer come three times a day, it’s just so hard because I’d have had my brother to help me but now it’s all really going to me. Oh and to add to my anxiety he was taken to hospital on the weekend and has broken his phone so I can’t contact him directly. I’ve had to find everything out today myself with regards as to what’s going with his care etc. I feel so sad he’s on his own but i can’t have him with me I have children plus we’ve had a very strained relationship throughout the years and my children and husband have seen the way he’s treated me so it’s definitely not fair on them. I’m hoping to find some peace when I see him at the weekend. It’s such an emotional time for me and right now my head feels like it’s full of an untidy mess I’m really struggling.
I spoke to a lovely lady from McMillan this afternoon who is helping me which is a godsend.
I just needed to share my thoughts with others who are going through similar
Hi and welcome to the community though sorry to hear about what you are having to deal with at the moment. It is no wonder you are struggling with so much going on and glad you found talking to the lady from Macmillan helpful. It does sound like your brother is having a very difficult time , many people find just coping with a stroke difficult enough without the extra worry of the cancer.
In truth of course none of us know how long we have left, my wife never wanted to know how long and I really struggled with that but she is doing so well she has I think actually shocked the oncologists, her cancer has now been stable for so long we only go for a check-up every 9 months..
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me, a key element was around focusing on day to day things rather than worrying about the future - some of here even refer to pre-grief, The conscious breathing exercises were good too when faced with a crisis and even for just basic relaxation.
<<hugs>>
Steve
