Having a bad day

Such good news about the carers.

We meet new ones at the weekend one is a man...mums not sure about that.

Mum grumpy about new bed. Hope it's comfy.

Christmas is surreal thought! 

I think my mum would be the same about a male carer.  It's understandable.

Fingers crossed about the bed.  :-)

I normally love Christmas and having all the family over but have no feelings about it at all this year.  Can't be bothered to buy presents (my kids want money anyway), or cards.  I think everyone will not be getting cards this year...

Bah humbug!

Hmm yes my carer's allowance won't stretch to much! 60 quid a week everyone gets a clementine. 

We can't plan Christmas anyway people might be in hospital!

Physio coming tomorrow. .a lot of people in one week! 

Jx

Everyone (apart from the kids) is getting home made presents.  Biscuits, cake, pickles, chutney, etc.  I've done it before and they went down really well and don't cost loads of money.  I was going to do it last year but mum was in hospital. You know how it is...

I spent yesterday round mum's making chilli pickle and dog treats. 

I bet you and your mum are knackered with all the people coming round...

Well I will make them if I can get myself motivated...

How are you coping Sue? No need to reply just remember we're here.

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling a tad more settled today. It still doesn't feel real, & I keep expecting to hear his footsteps in the stairs outside. I realised it's only been 4 days. Time has sort of gotten stretched somehow.

My week has been strange. Monday I went  to the dentist for some more antibiotics. Tuesday I went to the doctors. She's given me some more Zopiclone, to help with my sleep. Yesterday was hard. I met Alan's Granddaughter Lianne at the hospital to pick up the paperwork. Instead of having to go into the city to register the death a Registrar works at the hospital 2 days a week so everything can been done in one appointment. Coventry Council also run a thing called Tell Us Once, apparently quite a few councils do it now. The idea is that you tell them the details of your loved one, & they go through a list with you, such as pensions, benefits & taxation, then they contact the relevant agencies so you don't have to call lots of different agencies. She was even able to cancel his passport. Today I went & had my 2 troublesome teeth out. Dying for something to eat so had a cuppa soup.

The funeral director is coming tomorrow to discuss arrangements. As there's quite a lot of discord ( hatred) in his small family I've decided to opt for something called Direct Cremation. There's no service or get together. Then later you can have a Celebration or Memorial ceremony that you can organise yourself. In Canada this is the norm, & works well. We did it for my Dad & my Mum.

As to family, don't get me started. His son has decided that he doesn't want to deal with ANYTHING!! Including being Executor of Alan's will!! I had to call the solicitors to ask if that was legal! They said yes. They'd send him a document called a Deed of Renunciation. If no-one else in the family is willing to step up I can instruct the Solicitors to act for me.

As much as I love Alan, I wasn't blind to the fact he could be a complete prick sometimes. That's the reason his family don't want to help with things. But as I said to his son, that's punishing me, not Alan. Ggrrrr!

I'm sorry to hear about everyone's family & caring package problems. It's such a nightmare on top of the worry about our loved ones.

I've kind of put Christmas on ice. I belong to an e-card company called Jacquie Lawson. I've already sorted e- cards ready to be delivered a week before Christmas. I tend to buy bargains through the year for gifts, but I'm not sure I'll be up to wrapping them up. Maybe next year. My friend asked if I wanted to go to hers Christmas Day. I said no. I'd rather just spend the day with my cats watching TV.

I read your posts everyday, & it breaks my heart at the pain you're all going through. I can't complain really, Alan was only seriously ill for about 3 months. For which I'm thankful for him.

I send you all Hugs. I've been amazed at the level of compassion from people. I've had more hugs from folk like the ladies that work in my chemists, the Receptionists at the Surgery, & even from the Receptionist & Dental Nurse at the Dentist's today. 

Love To all 3 of you, and your Mum's.

Xxx

I was typing as you posted Jenny. Spooky :-)

Very spooky!

I'd heard of direct cremation recently seems a good idea to me.

I guess you'll have ups downs and rocky moments.  3 months is very rapid. A lot to adjust to.

Christmas with the cats sounds peaceful and perfect. ...or. purrrrrrfect  (sorry) jxxx

Purrrfect! Had to be said! Lol