Having a bad day

Really struggling today. Went to a close friends wedding and the one person I want to take to about it, isn't here. 

We've booked the funeral and I'm struggling to get through the days now, not sure I'm going to manage on the day. How did everyone else manage?

On the day of mum's funeral I managed by not talking to anyone until afterwards. Up to, and after, I managed with the help of my virtual family on here. Talk to us, rant, cry, let it all out. I did a lot of crying and screaming. I drove my car with the music up as loud as I could bear it. I sat on the sofa and watched TV. I ate crap. I was so angry. I took it out on everyone. I became a different person. I didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. I did go to counselling and it helped. It's been over a year now and I'm starting to feel more like me but I'm not there completely. My mum is gone. There will always be a gaping hole in my life. I miss her every day and I still pick up the phone to ring or text her. You will get through this and we will help you, if you want us to. It will be shit but we will be here for you. It's ok to sit on the sofa and do nothing. It's ok to cry and scream and stare into space. You will cope in your own way, but you will cope. 

Sending you a big hug.

X

Hello, it’s early days, you will feel like this. Everyone’s life goes on around you and people soon forget your personal tragedy. You did well to go to the wedding, so we’ll done you xxxx 

everyone is different, maybe we have to be, but what gave me strength for the day was to see and talk to Bob on my own before the funeral, say my own goodbyes, tell him again and again how much I loved him how much he was loved, he knew that in life but it’s saying this privately, everything you can really. I felt finally, after the trauma and horrors he endured, quite calm for the day of the funeral. I needed to be strong for my children, my mother in law, Bob’s Funeral was for him, his life, his legacy. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss him, love him smile at him talk to him,want to have a hug .....feel lonely but it’s how it is. If only..,

Your mum knew , knows, how much she was loved. She will be so proud of you. You do find strength somewhere but it’s okay to cry, shout, be silent. Whatever you need to do xxx big hug

So more bad news to add to the shit!  My best friend had a mammogram last week and got a letter Friday night saying that they had found something and she has to go back for tests.  She's going tomorrow.  She's just gone through a horrible, horrilble divorce and now this.  She's got three children, the eldest is ill and now they've just found out that the youngest has the same as the eldest.  The ex has mental health issues and the children hate him but if anything happens to her he's their legal guardian.  What a fuckng nightmare!!!   

Why does this keep happening?  

Hospital thinks it's benign. Thank God!

Elenium, that’s wonderful amazing to hear.

Take a deep breath and onwards also for your friend and her children. As we know, life doesn’t always deal good or fair cards.

Get your friend to put something in place if she can in terms of legal guardianship, I don’t know the law but maybe this is the moment to find out? 

Take care, love to all xxxx

Hi Bobles,

Yes, she is going to sort something out now.  

Found out yesterday that my uncle is in hospital.  It's his heart, he's got to have an op.  More bad news.

Hope you're ok.

Hi everyone,

I hope you are all ok. Just realised how long it's been since I've  been on here.

I still miss mum every day and it still gets me that she's missing everything but it is getting easier.  I still have days where I breakdown but they are getting less.

Life goes on, I suppose.

Love to you all.

X

Hi there

For some reason I'm not getting the updates and i wondering if the thread was still going.

I have largely been a voyeur on here but felt I knew you from following through from the beginning. I've smiled as well as shed tears for you all and hope that peace and some sense of a new, if not welcome, normality has settled into place.

My hubby is still on fortnightly chemo - just had cake to 'celebrate ' his 50th cycle - and this is how we roll now. One good week, one not good week. It is draining on him and I hate seeing him going though it but as he always says - it's better then the alternative.

He will not ask for any sort of prognosis - just wants to have a '3 month warning' which he may or may not get of course.

This forum is such a valuable support mechanism for those going through this.

Love and hugs to you all - still thinking of you.

Zoe

Hi Zoe  /  

Unfortunately the email / update notifications server broke down early into the weekend and they have only just managed to get it back up and running.

Hopefully you will soon start to get messages come through but the first batch may be older messages that got 'hung up' in the system.

Take care, G n' J