Having a bad day

So here we are again, today the 28th was Jill’s birthday, for some bizarre reason I thought this year the second birthday with her not here it would be “easier “ ....wrong!! It’s so painful 

I am re building my life , I am doing ok I think I have more good days than bad but Tuesday I felt strange, flat and quiet, then it dawned on me that It’s probably because of her birthday, I miss her so much, it’s crap !! 

Thinking  of you all and hope your all as ok as you can be today, take care 

Yantibee thinking of you.

I thought the second year would be easier in some way too. Yesterday the anniversary of Mum's funeral.  

These wounds we have don't seem to heal. At the moment I feel a little worse than last year. Different but not better.

Maybe acceptance of how we feel rests easier in time? I hope so.

Only time will tell.

Meanwhile I'll raise a glass to you and Jill.

Jennyx

Hello Yantibee, another first of the second year. thinking of you and your boys. Xx

 I too feel different but I don’t feel I’m living, I’m plodding on.

i know it’s down to me to change things. 

Elenium hope you had a great first day xxxxx

Love to you all.

elenium, hope you a had a great first day xxxxx

Dear all, agreed the start of the seconds arent easy. Suspect thirds wont be either! Mums grandsons wedding tomorrow. She so wanted to be there. She was laid to rest with a cortage (the flower on the wrist) as she agreed she would so that she was still part of the wedding. Her grandson visited her when she was very poorly and asked if she would like this idea.. We all cried. So tomorrow is a big day although the small family is v fractured. its sad. There are things to be happy about but always tinged with sadness. The snow is pretty. Love to all.

Your Mum would be smiling tomorrow.   Hope it all goes beautifully. 

Love.

Jennyx

Hi all,

How are you all? Had to have my little dog put to sleep on Wednesday. She had two really bad fits when I got home from work and was so distressed. It was awful. I keep thinking I can hear her coming down the stairs. So sad.  

I'd like to think she's sitting at mum's feet now. Mum wasn't really an animal person but my little dog had a special place in her heart. They had a bond. My dog used to sit under mum's bed when she was ill. 

I've been feeling more like me this week. I still miss mum every day, and I so wanted to tell her about my new job, but something has eased. I don't know if it's the anti depressants or getting away from idiot boss but just glad to be feeling a bit better.

Hugs and love to all. 

X

That’s good to hear Elenium, really pleased things are finally seemingly getting “ better” 

Ok here I guess, difficult day today for my boys as Mother’s Day creeps round again but you won’t need telling about that. 

I too feel like me at the moment which is nice, strange but nice. Not an hour of any day goes by without thinking of Jill, I miss her terribly still, her voice her smile her touch but I am ok, I have seemingly found some peace , long may it continue for me and for you all x

Think idiot boss had huge part to play ...so good to be away from toxic behaviour. 

Yantibee so lovely to hear you are finding your way to peace. .

Mothers Day sucks.

People all have very different patterns in grief. A year on and I think I am getting worse really.  Possibly doesn't help Dad is grotty today so we can't get out...and it' stupid crappy mothers day....I think of Mum every hour anyway. Just hate the in your face adverts. 

Got some daffodils here for Mum.

Jx

Hello all,

Elenium sad to hear about your dog but  at least you know there is no more suffering and you are looking forward now.

Yantibee I’m so pleased you have a sense of peace, that’s so good to hear and hopeful.

 I’m still having good days and not so good days. That’s for me to work on, I think that I didn’t really have chance to grieve for Bob until recently because I was coping with his mum, delayed reaction maybe, who knows? Well anyway , can’t change it so need to deal with it.

Jenny, wish could help you with your dad more xxx

 Love to all

Ho hum

Xxxxx