Having a bad day

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Sorry but I'm having a bad day and I just need to let it out. I woke up feeling like I've had no sleep and really down. Mum's been bad this week - a lot of pain and, I think, sliding into depression - so I'm in overdrive on worrying about her. My sister is with her today so I don't need to go round to see mum although I probably will drop round later. I thought I would throw myself into cleaning the house so make myself busy and then I'd start to feel better. My fatal mistake was asking my 18 year old daughter to help. She had a major strop. I tried to keep calm as I realise that she is worrying about my mum too but it was hard. I tried to talk to her but she just got worse and worse so I gave up. Then my husband made sarcastic comments about it all - again he is worrying and his mum is also not well - so I am still trying to keep a lid on it. But I feel even worse now. I'm now sitting on the sofa in my pyjama's watching old episodes of Grey's Anatomy without the will to do anything else. I just keep crying and feel so very very sad.

Elenium over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

I know exactly what you mean Jenny.

Elenium

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to Elenium

I also know exactly what you mean. X

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

From the translation printed in Dad's CD 'Four Last Songs' by Richard Strauss. Be Free

It moved Dad..and me.

You will not cry. Gently

you will smile and as though for a journey I will return your glance and your kisses.

Our beloved four walls, you have prepared them,

I have opened them to the world for you;

Oh happiness!

Then you will eagerly take my hands and you will leave me your soul,

leave me to our children.

You gave me your whole life,

I want to pass it on to them;

Oh, happiness!

It is not long now, we both know that, we have freed one another from suffering,

so I gave you back to the world!

Then you will only come to me in dreams to bless me and cry with me;

Oh, happiness.

'Befreit'

Richard Dehmel

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Wow

Bobles2 over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Beautiful and spot on. Wow indeed

Xxx

Take a deep breath ... then on with the day.

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to Bobles2

Taken Dad for MRI of his brain tumour. Am freezing as am outside a truck where the MRI is done. Was in warm for a while but it's near A&E.

Wheeled him here from car as a long walk. Deja vu. Same route I used to wheel Mum with least bumps..

Made me sad.

Jennyx

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Oh Jenny,

Your poor Dad! As if he didn't have enough problems. I have to admit that through all our jottings I've become more concerned about my own mortality. How much intervention is too much intervention.

I hope you're warming up now. The wind is cold here today.

Big Hugs to All

Sue xx

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

There's definitely a point where you say stop now.

I think we each know when the time is right as long as our brains are in working order.

Dad's tumour is benign in itself unless causes pressure on optic nerve.

I keep thinking I'll be in a caring role until I'm diagnosed with something awful. Both parents have cancer after all!

Hug.

Elenium over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Oh Jenny, sending you a big hug.

Elenium

FormerMember over 8 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Jenny, understand yr fear. Its a fear and not necessarily a reality, although it feels like odds stacked against us x

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Having a bad day