Poetry was my escape from the torment of grieving.
I looked after my partner for the 3years she battled stage 4 cervical cancer.
I miss her every day and life just isn't the same .
I've lost enthusiasm to enjoy anything,go anywhere and socialise with anyone.
But writing poems is what I spend most of my time doing.
I've forwarded a few of the 40 poems I've written to date.
THE TRUTH HURTS.
Stage 4 cervical cancer,
Is what she had,
A long line of cancers but this one was bad,
It wasn't by choice not to be picked,
I would rather it was not ,
Every problem it ticked,
It silently grows inch by inch,
Week after week pound by pound it will pinch,
When treatment begins,
You prepare for hard times,
Losing your beauty,
Eyebrows and hairline,
They are the side effects everyone knows,
It's the ones that you don't,
Your bowels when that goes,
A cathata in place,
But not doing its job,
A trip to the toilet is enough for a sob,
With such a short trip,
No control as to grip,
Every step forward ,
Much more than a drip,
The pain is intense,
Constant at that,
To watch as a partner,
And catch with the mat,
I can't make it better,
I would swap all-day long,
For a human to go through this,
It's morally so wrong,
But it was the normal,
The same for 3 years,
Slow to progress ,
But lived up to your fears,
I was there for my lover,
I look after her dear,
Her dignity out the window,
My help was sincere,
She began to pass out ,
If only for a second ,
It felt a lot longer ,
More than she reckons,
You need to take notice,
It's as serious as hell,
This is a true story,
One I must tell,
A girl who had everything,
But lost a lot more,
Her ability to walk,
Everything else was so sore,
Please answer your invite,
And go for your smear,
Don't live your life worrying,
Everyday in total fear.
FROM 2 TO 1
The things we do,
We're meant for you,
Your every touch,
I loved so much,
Places we went,
Made memories I've dreamt,
Fun we had,
Made me honoured and glad,
The love we share,
Made us the perfect pair,
Our time cut short,
Who would of thought,
From two now one,
It seems so wrong,
So things I do,
We're best as two,
My every touch,
I miss so much,
Places i wont go,
I just say no,
I don't have Fun,
Without your mum,
The love is there,
But it's not to share.
Cervical cancer,
You can't prepare.
To miss your smear,
I wouldn't dare.
BRAVE THE SHAVE MACMILLAN
I'm looking forward to have my shave,
It's not the thought of being brave,
I just feel the urge to do some good,
And hopefully help to lift my mood,
Macmillan helped through times of need,
My stories there for all to read,
They understand they help you cope,
With your life that's hit a slope ,
Macmillan nurses stay with you through the toughest times that's true,
But a charity comes with cost,
Without donations it will be lost.
SUE RYDER
I found a site that helps with grief,
Sue Ryder helps you turn a new leaf,
People talk they help and listen,
Every topic you'll find nowt missing,
With every stage of a personal story
People's problems in all there glory,
Without much wait someone will answer,
Leave a comment on bereavement or cancer,
Some just glance ,
Move on or like,
There username left ,
Could be might Mike,
But the site is valuable to the people in need,
They share there story,
And others they read,
So thanks to Sue Ryder,
The help your giving,
People,
There problems,
And answers there bringing.
MANS BEST FRIEND
Weather changing - getting warm,
Nows the chance to leave the home,
And spend more time more time with Dora,
My French bull dog the ultimate Explorer,
She gets excited when I pick up the lead,
Then flips into madness it must be her breed,
From 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds,
Using her butt and head like lethal weapons,
Ramming the door and knocking over a vars,
No care in the world and no disregards,
After this madness we need a short rest,
What is her problem is she possessed,
Then out in the open blue skies up above,
This is her domain it's all the smells that she loves,
She then becomes stubborn and wants her own way,
Ignoring all I tell her sit down and just stay,
But I have a pocket it's filled with pure joy,
Treats are my answer it's my only ploy,
I know it's no Winner she's brainier than me,
If dogs went to Uni she'd have a degree,
A masters in human intelligence,
If there was such a thing,
I have her on a long lead ,
But I'm a puppet on a string.
MOTHER
My mam has always been there for me,
Her love my heart she has the key,
I am the bairn I'm one of three,
Ones in London and ones at sea,
We've always had a special Bond,
A Mothers love that goes beyond,
We came together when things got bad,
A tragic loss is what we had,
My mam has always kept me right,
Kept me safe throughout this plight,
Her wealth of knowledge I can't ignore,
Feeds my brain and helps it grow,
My mum did nursing all her life,
And give my dad a perfect wife,
To lose my partner the way I did,
A second time I would forbid,
You only ever get one mother,
So they need looked after,
You don't get another.
