Feel completely alone

Hi I just realised that I never replied, unfortunately I’m still very much the same, if not worse. Trying to get all the mental health support that I can but it’s so difficult to access, there’s so many waiting lists. 

I’m due to have surgery on 22nd January and I’m already panicking about the results of histology. Every day is a battle  

thank you for asking though - it’s more than the majority of my friends and family have 

Sorry you are still struggling.I wish you all the best for your surgery.Love Jane xx

Sorry you're being treated this way. I know how you feel. I never had many friends even before cancer so not much as changed in that respect - But one massive things did, which was my partner of 8 years leaving me. She won't admit it's due to cancer but she sort of did by admitting she's backed off emotionally, so it comes to the same thing. As for my family, while one has been amazing, the rest don't seem to care beyond nice words from a couple of them.

I used to be here with a different account and even most people here weren't very supportive then. Lots of words and some advice, but only one person truly cared and actually stayed in touch. It's the main reason I left before.

It's always been tough for me making friends and it's still that way. I feel utterly lonely, cry a lot, have almost nobody to talk to. I keep considering giving up treatment or ending it all some other way, as this isn't living.

It’s good to see you back Geoff.I hope this time around you get some support.Love Jane x

Thanks Jane, I really appreciate that. 

Hi Geoff, how are you doing? 

I'm trying to get on with life. It isn't too easy when my treatment doesn't seem to be progressing. I've been awaiting a phone call for nearly 2 weeks now. My personal life is affecting me even more lately, and that's....well "looking more hopeful" is about the most positive I dare be. I also had to cancel an appointment due today because I've been ill, and I have 2 appointments next week. Likely more will be booked soon when they decide what treatment they'll give me.

Hi Geoff - hopefully the appointments will come through and you’ll have a plan forward. I always chase up phone calls when they’re overdue so why not chase up the call tomorrow? Keep going - you’ve come this far x

I did chase it several days ago but still nothing. I chased something else too and at least I've heard back about that. I don't know what's taking them so long with my treatment though. It makes me wonder if they're trying to decide if they're able to do it or not. If they can't, that will be very bad news for me.

Hi LonelyFool

I'm Daisy53 a Community Champion on the Online Community.  I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling and that your treatment doesn't seem to be progressing.  You might find it useful to give the Macmillan helpline a ring to talk to someone about how you are feeling.  You can ring the helpline on 0808 808 0000 between 8 am and 8pm 7 days a week.  Hopefully you will hear something soon from your medical team.

Best wishes

Daisy53