Feel completely alone

Hi I just realised that I never replied, unfortunately I’m still very much the same, if not worse. Trying to get all the mental health support that I can but it’s so difficult to access, there’s so many waiting lists. 

I’m due to have surgery on 22nd January and I’m already panicking about the results of histology. Every day is a battle  

thank you for asking though - it’s more than the majority of my friends and family have 

Sorry you are still struggling.I wish you all the best for your surgery.Love Jane xx

Sorry you're being treated this way. I know how you feel. I never had many friends even before cancer so not much as changed in that respect - But one massive things did, which was my partner of 8 years leaving me. She won't admit it's due to cancer but she sort of did by admitting she's backed off emotionally, so it comes to the same thing. As for my family, while one has been amazing, the rest don't seem to care beyond nice words from a couple of them.

I used to be here with a different account and even most people here weren't very supportive then. Lots of words and some advice, but only one person truly cared and actually stayed in touch. It's the main reason I left before.

It's always been tough for me making friends and it's still that way. I feel utterly lonely, cry a lot, have almost nobody to talk to. I keep considering giving up treatment or ending it all some other way, as this isn't living.