Hello everyone. I made a couple posts some time ago regarding panic about my moles.
One on my tummy, originally a large pretty uniform mole. Had it since I was young. At some point I'd noticed it changed to looking like a drawing of a splatted egg 
oval with a circular dark "yolk" centre. Still didn't really know the signs of cancer so it was more an oddity. Some time in the last 10 or so years I noticed it had broken into a collection of 7 or so tiny moles with a large, faint splotchy one on the edge. Began to worry, GP said watch & wait.
September 2024 I noticed a mole on the "web" between my little and ring fingers. Had numbness around that area too. Panicked so I'd booked a private dermascope with Boots. But panicked again and chickened out (also didn't really want to go private if my suspicion is right!). Then caught covid for the first time and largely forgot about aside from seeing these moles every so often out the corner of my eye.
Between now and September I've noticed small freckle-like moles on my arms. Been applying suncream like mad any time the sky was clear. Finally bit the bullet and offhandedly mentioned it to my nurse during an asthma checkup last month.
Today, I had my first NHS dermascope. Struggled to get myself to sleep last night from the fear. Spent all morning telling myself the appointment was for something general so I wouldn't get hit with that anxiety again. It was over in 5 minutes. Think I was sat in the waiting room longer than the appointment took!
Mostly just rambling here I think. Feel bad "making" my friends and partner worry when I'm not even at the stage where doctors are using the C word as a possible answer.
Thing that's worrying me is two suspicious sites far away (left hand and left lower abdomen). Nervous both are cancerous and thus it's spreading. Trying to convince myself I'm not a bad person for getting it checked so late.
If you've read this far, thank you 
just feeling a little like I'm losing control.
