My partner was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer 9 weeks ago and after 2 hospital inpatient stays he's now home again but is not very mobile and struggles to get out of bed without assistance having lost 4 stone in weight. There's no treatment being offered due to him being so weak. The hospital did their job but sent us home more confused than when my husband was admitted with all the medication and no idea of the way forward. He went in with confusion and came out with this horrific diagnosis. He has all the support he needs from Macmillan, GPs, carers, etc, for which I am extremely grateful and, of course, me but somehow things are getting on top of me.
I know there's help available for me too but I'm feeling trapped. The carers turn up when they like, very irregular times every day, early starts, late starts, visits too close together, etc etc. I'm sitting here now still waiting for an appearance.
After having had no transport for 6 days I've felt like I can't breath. It's not really related to my husband as he is my world and I'll always be there for him it's just the fact that I've not even been able to go out to the shops for essentials such as to buy him milk; this is almost the only thing he's been able to consume apart from his ensures. We have a keysafe but no key to put in there yet. My husband has a lifeline but I'm not sure he will press it. We have a very friendly dog that gets very excited when he sees people but most of the carers don't like dogs.
Writing this down makes everything seem so very unimportant but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all and I'm not sure where to turn. We have a few friends and my elderly parents and they've been there for us with lifts to the hospital and a shoulder to cry on in the beginning but now I feel that we are alone. My mum, bless her, will get me bits and bobs when she goes shopping but I don't like to ask for more as she worries so much about me to the point it makes her ill. I can't even tell her how I'm really feeling and how ill my husband is. My husband's mum is 91 and isn't local to us. Eventually I will have to return to work but I can't let him down and I can't abandon my dog either.
It's been a bit of a merry-go-round but I hoping things will settle down. I'm just so grateful that I have access to this forum or I know I'd just drown in it all.
Hi JeanieH
I’m so glad that you’ve been able to speak up and that we can help you, and I really appreciate your kind words. We are all here to help each other when we can and point others in the direction of additional support they may not have been aware of. So long as you are feeling the better for it, that’s the main thing. Remember you’re doing an amazing job!
Sarah xx
Thank you 
