At a loss emotionally and not sure of my choice of an operation

Hi Artsie and sorry to see how upset you are.

Making choices in treatment us very difficult and as you are feeling that you are not convinced that you have made the right choice do get back into your clinics team and talk enthusiasts through.

It’s akways good to talk so the Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support or just connect with a listening ear. 

((Hugs))

Thanks Mike 

I followed your advice and phoned this morning. I feel more confident now my nurse is phoning me again tomorrow to check in. 
They’re pushing PET scan forward. 
Just feeling very tearful and anxious. I think I’m regurgitating the bowel cancer thoughts when this may not be part of that. 
I wish there was fourth option to my treatment plan.
The last one 

Runaway 

But if I did that I’d be taking the cancer or ghoul with me ! 

It’s hard knowing the right thing to do and even then you have these ‘thoughts’ and a big well done calling this in as these teams are there to help you out….. abd if you don’t get that call tomorrow call again as these medics can get very busy.

I know the feeling about ‘options’ and back in late 2013 I was on my final tool but over the past few years new treatments have been developed so in my book there is always Hope until Hope runs out.

Do connect in again with the various support groups I see you have joined as there is nothing better than talking with people who have navigated the same journey….. you will see from my profile my 23 year journey is rather different ((hugs))

Yes I’ve read your bio a long while back and was really impressed you’re a brilliant role model. I’m in a few groups and have shared my experience with my LAR and Ileostomy.

This I took on the chin and went through my appointments but they changed their minds and gave me the option. Now I’m panicking. It’s just a wobble and I’m still processing the letter that arrived when the darkest  possible eventuality is in black and white it’s hard to not be anxious 

Thanks Highlander Mike 

Take care 

Ann 

I’ve just reread your story Mike. I was feeling sorry for myself so I thought I’d see what you’ve been through again you must have a huge amount of grit and determination  

Northerners seem so much tougher than us southerners we moan about the weather

You must have had down days you’ve had real trauma going through what you have 

Fair play Highlander  I will try and stop feeling sorry for self 

Hope you have a good day 

Hi Ann, you are definitely allowed to feel sorry for yourself, this journey is pants (my oldest granddaughters term) but it’s important to try and keep control and not let ‘it’ define us and how we live.

We have a simple ‘pity me party’ rule that we have followed in our family for many many years and this was way before I was diagnosed…… interestingly our two daughters have carried it into their homes and family.

We all have bad days, we would all have empathy for the person on that day, give them space, listen and that’s fine but…… tomorrow is a new day and we move on. We don't let stuff fester as doing this robs us of our precious life.

We are hardy up North, I think it’s the long dark winters that make us dig in and keep going ((hugs))

Yes you most definitely are. Courts mum is amazing. That’s the one thing that struck me regional differences definitely affect the get up and go mentality. I suppose when you’re bought up having to dig your way out of a six feet snow drift on your front door it makes you celebrate the good days. We grumble it’s a little cold 

I will be like this until I get that PET scan and a full plan then I will be up for anything. At the moment I’m waiting for a different trust to book my PET scan. My hospital is the main cancer treatment centre but doesn’t have a PET capability  when you think how underfunded the NHS are they’re pretty damn amazing 

Have a good day Mike 

It’s in my DNA

Have a look at this blog and you will see where I get it from

Survival is in my family DNA

Hello  Ann, I'm very sad to hear your news re lung nodules. Blast and double blast this disease.  You say you've made the wrong decision , can you go back and discuss this with your team hon?   

I'm sending you plenty of hugs and love to support you right now.  ️

I'm sure your oncology team will organise a plan for treating the bl%*+y nodes and lickety split they'll reduce until they're NED !   You are in my thoughts lovely lady xxx 

Lucy 

Thank  you Lucy. This place really gives me a boost.
I’m staying away from Bowel group as I don’t want to scare anyone with this and I’m not really a valid lung group member though I’ve joined and read others 

As Mike recommended I’ve contacted my lovely nurses and they even checked in with me Friday they’ve pushed the PET scan and today I’ve got a booking. Wednesday at 5pm. So no eating for me for six hours meaning a take away after should be around 7pm  Have to stay away from others as I will be glowing radioactive. 
It’s crazy.

Ive chosen surgery if the growing Ghouls can be removed then I feel that’s the gold star choice. Done lots researching but if the lungs aren’t the only place and the scan shows spread they’ll discuss at their MDT and an action plan will be drawn up to fight it. I will take whatever they offer 

My choices were.

Watch and wait. But that’s not an option I want

SABR targeted radiotherapy 

Operation to remove top and bottom wedges of lung taking the growing nodules for testing however they could come back benign 

That was my confusion. But I’ve cleared my head now. 
Fingers crossed the PET comes up that I’m good to go for the operation 

Thanks Lucy and Mike

you’re stars 

xx