A year ago, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. He went through surgery, chemo, and immunotherapy. He was clean for months but they just found a new mass in his other lung about a month ago.
I’m so so scared. I don’t know how long he has. I was really hoping for this nightmare to be over. It doesn’t even make sense for him to have cancer. He’s only 43 and never smoked.
It is stage 3. I never expected to have to deal with this. I’m really struggling with this new reality. I keep thinking about how he’ll never dance with me at my wedding(I am in high school) and I break down sobbing every time.
I can’t function the way I used to. I’m drifting apart from all of my friends because I can’t talk to them about it. They all just look at me sadly. He keeps making jokes about him dying and they really hurt. I don’t know how to live without him. The thing is that he’s perfectly healthy right now. No symptoms. I’m grieving someone who looks perfectly fine. I don’t know how to handle this.
Hi Cambridgegirl and I see it’s your first post so welcome to the Online Community but so sorry to hear about your dad.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time for you but I do hope you will find the Community a safe place to get support and to ask your questions.
The Community is divided into support groups (discussion rooms) so can I recommend you join and post in our supportive Lung Cancer support group. This is a safe place to talk to others who may have a similar diagnosis and treatment experience, to ask questions and get support from family members who are navigating the same journey.
If you'd like to connect in with a group click on the (Bold) Group link I have created above. Once the group page opens click on the black banner that says [click to join] at the bottom, or the [Join] button under "Group tools."
You can then introduce yourself by putting up a ‘new post’ by clicking in the box near the top right with + New or + (Depending on the device you are using) and you are ready to go. You could copy and paste the text from this post into your new post
When it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting family you may also benefit from joining our general Family and friends and Supporting someone with incurable cancer support groups where you will connect with others navigating the same support challenges.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
The Macmillan Support Line is open from 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00 where you can talk with someone about specific cancer and practical information, get emotional support or just connect with a listening ear.
We also have our Ask an Expert section but do allow a few working days for a reply.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and aim to give support to all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help ((hugs))
