Tears

How are you feeling today ? It must have been very overwhelming for you.It is always a shock when emotion takes you unawares.Love Jane x

Luckily for me my dermatology consultant is brilliant and kind and practical and makes no judgements. First thing she asked me about was my alottment; I was touched she had remembered that from over a year ago and she recognised my face+and name) whilst I was waiting to see her.  She took my mind from the upset to the practical.

I think you're right, I wasn't expecting to be that upset but I have learnt just to be true to my feelings, better out than in!

X

What a wonderful consultant.It makes such a difference when you see someone who takes an interest.I get on well with my consultant but since Covid it’s been phone calls only with different people.I’m true to my feelings too and as you say it’s much better out than in.Love and best wishes Jane x

I'm new to this. I was drawn to the chat title, Tears. I was diagnosed 4 days ago with stage 2 breast cancer. I think I was in shock and denial at first, but today I can't stop crying. Somehow it helps to know that other people find this difficult, too. It's good to know that your consultant asked about your allotment. It means she knows you are a person with life outside hospital. I hope you're having a better day today. 

Hi Bear and Tilly,It’s all such a shock when you are first diagnosed and lots of different thoughts go through your head.The ladies and men in the breast cancer group are very supportive and are known as the fruit loops.If you felt up to joining them you will be guaranteed a warm welcome as they have all been through what you are experiencing now.I had bladder cancer and joining the Macmillan community has been so helpful.You won’t feel so alone with it all.I hope you have supportive family and friends ? It’s very early days for you,people tend to feel much better once they recover from the shock and have a treatment plan in place.Love and best wishes Jane

Thanks, Jane. I am very lucky. I have a lot of supportive friends and family, but I still feel alone sometimes. I guess that's normal. I like the sound of the fruit loops. I'll try to find them soon. Thank you for your reassurance. I already feel better for making contact here. How are you with your bladder cancer ? Love Bear and Tilly 

Hi,I hope you will join the breast cancer group.I’m sure you will find it helpful.I’m just waiting for scan results but have been clear of cancer since major surgery in 2019.I think it’s common to feel alone with cancer.I know I felt like that at the start.Love Jane 

Thanks, Jane. That's good to know. Glad to hear you've been clear for 3 years. 

Hi Bear and Tilly, glad you found us here. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis of breast cancer.  It's such an emotional shock to the system. You don't know what's going on in real life, well your life before cancer. No we won't ever be totally the same again but as time goes on and the investigations start and treatment may start too we adjust to this new life because we have too. So bits of our previous life can join in too as we plod on with regular treatment.

I remember crying continually for a week then I had to tell my daughter (aged 20 last year) and my black humour kicked in.  That's from years of palliative care nursing I think!  So I began to look at songs for my wake party-- I've only got 2 or 3 as I stopped doing it and got on with living through the treatment. My daughter promised me a eulogy written entirely of song lyrics. I was 20 in 1983 so you have an idea of my musical choices!

Just be kind to yourself right now and rest lots if you can, sleep is restorative.  

As to my dermatology consultant, yes she is great and so is my oncologist based at Poole hospital. I e been lucky with them.  One of the greatest resource is the specialist nurse so find yours and ask anything you want. Most are so very lovely and supportive.  And we're always here.

Hope you get on with the fruit loops- what a great name. Take care hon xxx

Dear Allotment Lover, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It is good to know you have been so well treated at Poole.  

Thank you for sharing some of your story here. It's very helpful to know other people cry a lot, even when given a fairly mild diagnosis like mine. So many people face far worse - but it's still a shock. 

I, too, alternate between trying to find out more about breast cancer and getting on with life: doing the washing, feeding the cats, making up a bed for visitors, taking the car for its MoT etc. I'm sure it's good for me to get on with the everyday, but sometimes things seem a bit surreal. 

I'm a 1964 baby so might have similar tastes in music to you. I got married in July, and we asked the band to play a selection of music from the 60s, 70s and 80s. It was great fun - and good to look back on when I want to be positive.  

Take care, and thanks again for sharing.