Hi all,
I am scared all of the time.
A consultant told me I had radiation enteritis. However, I wasn’t diagnosed by a colonoscopy, he took it from a CT scan, which is impossible to see inside the gut. He told me I need a third stoma (I have a colostomy and an urostomy), to which I told him no. I changed consultants and he backed up the previous one. In August last year I had a MRI scan (I had bleeding down below). When I saw the gynaecologist he told me I have a prolapsed pelvis. I asked him about the radiation enteritis and he re-read the notes and the scan and told me there is no mention of it in the report and he said there wasn’t anything in the scan. The following week I saw the new colorectal consultant but before I saw him I saw his registrar and I explained about the MRI scan and he checked and told me the same as the gynae consultant. I then saw the colorectal consultant and I told him about the scan and he looked at the scan and said the scan was taken lower down, even though his registrar had just the scan.
I think I am having a breakdown. I worry all of the time and I am miserable.
I lost my mum earlier this year and I cry when I think of her. I live with my dad and my puppy. My puppy keeps me busy and he has been a tremendous for me. I am starting university in a couple of weeks, which I am looking forward to. However, I am scared.
I was given the all clear in 2017 (yay and thank you) and I have been discharged from the cancer hospital (yay and thank you). I have learnt to walk again, I passed my driving test first time (yay and thank you).. I have my gorgeous puppy too.
I contacted my GP surgery last week to make an appointment and I was told to contact them again on Monday to make an appointment. I don’t want to take tablets and I did speak to a psychiatrist last year but I didn’t find it helpful.
Please don’t tell me to go to either Maggie’s or the Samaritans because I would be going over the same thing and they are the things I don’t want to keep going over.
I just can’t serm to get over treatment and all of the other things I have been through.
Thank you for reading this post.
Sending you all love and good vibes
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Lisa
I have read your post and thought how amazing you have been moving forwards with your life; with everything that you have been through it is not surprising that you have difficulty escaping from the act of re-living those memories.
But I wonder if you can look at how far you have come since the all clear, (An outstanding achievement ) ?
With regards to what is going on with consultants and GP's which I have no response to, mainly due to not knowing enough to give an effective comment, I am sorry that you are given different information from different people,
But I have found myself reading about a Lady who has moved through some extremely tough periods in her life, and she has Won, and although she has her scars, some harsh memories and also lives with anxiety and worry all the time, she continues to Win! Her life is her own and she is making valuable decisions on how to continue to move forwards with it.
I lost my Dad last year, I have lost other important people also, and I know what it is to cry when I think of them, but for me that just shows how important those people were and how much a part of me they were. So it is understandable that you will cry when you think of your Mum,
Congratulations on passing your driving test, Good Luck with Uni, these are all great challenges one which you have already overcome and another that you are likely to succeed in if your other Wins are anything to go by.
I think it is OK to be scared, it probably protects you and in its own way enables you to be strong in ways you may not even have considered, I do hope that you can re-read your post and see your strength within it.
Good Luck.
Lowe'
