Terrified of chemo and anxious most of the time

Hi Anxious and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.

I've recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and I'm due to have a lumpectomy in 2 weeks time. I don't yet know whether I'll have to have chemotherapy but, like you, I'm not looking forward to it if I have to have it.

I can see that you've joined the breast cancer group and I'm sure if you start a new post there expressing your worries about having chemotherapy you'll get lots of support. In fact I know they have a dedicated thread on chemotherapy where people are happy to share their experiences. 

If you'd like to post in the breast cancer group clicking on the link I've created will take you straight there where you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'. 

It would be great if you could pop something about your diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

x

I have triple negative breast cancer so have had 6 months of chemo followed by double mastectomy and just about to have short course of radiotherapy. 

I was very worried about chemo however I found that I tolerated it better than expected so you may be surprised by your body's response. I did find that I had to work hard to balance my body - be conscious of what I ate, drink plenty of water, eat regularly and sleep as best you can. At the start my gums were tender but I found that if I rinsed my mouth after each time I ate anything (just lukewarm water) and used some good mouthwash, I could keep this under control (I used to carry a bottle of water when out so that I could enjoy a coffee with friends). My tastes did change and some things tasted of nothing or tasted horrible so don't be surprised if yours do too and you just learn to adapt and eat what you can enjoy. Your digestion system really slows down with chemo so watch you don't get constipated (sorry!) and I also found that if I walked every evening an hour or so after eating then I slept much better and it seemed to aid my digestion. It's hard work managing your body at the beginning but it does get easier. 

As for having the chemo - I would walk in, have my chemo and walk out again. About 3 days later I would have to watch not to do too much as would get tired easily but as long as I listened to my body I would be okay - not bouncing around but functioning and able to enjoy life! It was only if I didn't pay attention that I had any problems. 

I did have some side effects of neuropathy and nail discolouration and was anaemic for quite a while but somehow they didn't bother me too much. 

I wish you all the best with your treatment 

Hi Latchbrook,

Thanks for your reply, and all the best for your lumpectomy.  I had the same nearly 4 years ago and the surgeon did an excellent job. 

I've posted in the breast cancer section and have had several replies re chemo, so thanks for the suggestion. 

Good luck with it all x 

Hi catmac500,

Thanks for your reply and your suggestions.  I'm glad you had such a positive experience.

Digestive problems is one of the things that concerns me.  My digestive system is already sluggish, and I get bad indigestion from eating too late, too much, irregularly etc!  Managing my body is tricky due to my anxiety.  Disturbed nights affect my sleeping and eating times as well.

Did you lose your hair?  Did you wear a wig/hairpiece/cap?  Did it affect your confidence?

I'm worried too about Covid while I'm having treatment.  I live on my own, work part-time from home and have been pretty much of a hermit during the pandemic.

I had radiotherapy after a lumpectomy 3.5 years ago.  It was all quite straightforward, but I had to practice holding my breath so as to keep still for long enough during treatment.  

I wish you all the best with your treatment too.

Try adding some soup or smoothies to your diet - you can have some in the fridge ready to go and have a little which gives a lots of easily digested nutrients in without too much effort and they seem to help digestion.

I was going to have a wig but didn't bother in the end. The thought of losing my hair was horrible - in actual fact it all fell our over about 4 days and it wasn't nearly as awful as I thought.  I just wore little caps in different with a hairband or a scarf to tone with my outfit (you can get the caps online for a few £ or your local Macmillan centre may have access to some). The plus side for me was that it made me pay attention to what I was wearing and I also put on some makeup and drew my eyebrows in which made me feel better. You'd be surprised at how many compliments I've had, which also lifts your mood. Strangely, I think I will miss them when my hair comes back! I worried about it being a 'cancer badge' however, in practice people are generally very kind and that might really help you too. 

I had covid during my chemo - was very anaemic at the time and was keeping track of my heart rate/temperature and pulse/ox levels. I was not ill at all, didn't even have a raised temperature so, whilst I wouldn't rush to hug lots of people, have chemo/cancer and a compromised immune system may not mean you get covid badly. (I was triple jabbed at the time for your info) 

Hope this helps allay your fears a little - feel free to ask if there is anything else. 

all the best 

Thanks for the food ideas - I'll freeze lots of soup and make muesli/porridge smoothies with fruit.

How long into the chemo did your hair fall out?  I found a baseball-type chemo cap online I like, so I might splash out.  

Sorry you had Covid as well as Chemo, but good that you felt okay.  I'm triple-jabbed too.

Did you have to inject yourself?  And was the picc line easy to sleep with? Since the mastectomy I've been sleeping on my right side, but they'll be putting the line in the right arm.  And are you able to change the caps/bungs yourself?

17 days after first treatment - exactly when my oncologist told me. If you’ve got long hair (I did) would suggest you cut it short as it comes out so quickly you wake up with it on the pillow - I had mine cut short and that was def easier. Hats are fun and baseball cap sounds brilliant esp as weather improves

i was lucky enough to get a port which was really easy and required no maintenance so can’t tell you about the picc line I’m afraid.

i has injections to do myself, they were really easy. The nurse will show you first time but so simple honestly.. 

I had a total of 16 rounds of chemo and it passed really quickly once in the routine. 

just remembered something else random - was recommended pineapple for taste and digestion (think it’s the enzymes) - I found I enjoyed it so no harm to try that too