Depression. Cancer

Hi Luppie sorry to hear you're feeling tearful. It's tough dealing with cancer.  if you are struggling to deal with it mentally can you maybe get a referral to see someone who can help you deal with it like a psychotherapist.  Can you GP help.  Are there friends you can open up to and talk to.  You can also call Macmillan (see number below) if you need to talk to someone. 

You could also try posting on the breast cancer site and try and connect with others who have had a mastectomy and are struggling mentally with it all.

I hope you start to feel better soon.  Sending hugs 

Doreen, The cancer journey puts many bumps in the road and it’s us hard at times to navigate these.

As my friend GodWilling has highlighted talking to people face to face when on a cancer journey can be very helpful but during these strange times it’s not that available but do check to see if any Local Macmillan Support in your area has opened up.

Do also check out our Telephone Buddy Service where you can be matched with someone who understands what you're going through, and they'll give you a weekly call.

And look out for a local Maggie's Centre in your area as these folks are amazing. when I say local our one is in Inverness and it’s normal for folks to do a 4 hr round trip from the west coast of the highlands to access their excellent services ((hugs))

Thank you for all your advice and kind words. X

Thank you for your advice and kind words.

Nightime I find is the worse for me during the day I can keep myself distracted. 

Doreen.

There are a number of online and in-person mindfulness groups/courses (Maggie's run these) and these courses gives you tools to use when things are hard, especially at silly o'clock.

What you are experiencing is not that unusual and for many the post treatment part of the journey can be as hard if not harder than the treatment. 

You may find it helpful to make a cuppa and have a look at this great paper After Treatment Finishes - Then What by Dr Peter Harvey as it highlights the post treatment milestones.

I would always then challenge folks to become proactive after reading through the paper and use it as a vehicle for change and life improvement.

So get a note-book or some sheets of paper and put pen to paper - it is a good way forward.

So a page per subject heading. Start detailing the things you have done already to move life on in each area and then start to set some achievable goals to work towards. 

When you achieve the first goal on each lists, tick it off and then put a new goal at the bottom of the list. By doing this you can actually see your progress and celebrate achievements. When I say celebrate I do mean giving yourself treats and gifts........ you have life - celebrate it.

The headings would be:

What steps am I taking to regain trusts in my body?

What steps am I taking to regain trust in myself?

What steps am I taking to overcome living with uncertainty?

What steps am I taking to deal with the world?

What steps am I taking to regain mastery and control of my life?

Try it, the future is sitting in front of you - think about driving a car. The big windscreen shows the future, the past is in the little mirrors and is getting smaller and more fuzzy as we move forward.....if you concentrate on the past you crash.

((hugs))

Hi Luppie and welcome to this forum where I know you'll find support.

I'm sorry to hear about your mastectomy and yes medical staff are not always the most compassionate people nowadays.  As a nurse myself I used to think it was a prerequisite for the job!

I too am dealing with depression of 21 plus years alongside my cancer diagnosis and there's no doubt our responses are coloured by it.

You should have had access to a breast cancer nurse specialist pre and post surgery hon and that will be the person who can support you emotionally.  Chase it up through your oncology team asap. It's a really good resource as they are usually easy to get a hold of than the doctors. 

Will you be having any further treatment ?   You are not alone here, it will be worth you joining the breast cancer forum on this site to talk with others going through the same things.  If you look at "groups" you will find "cancer type" groups and within there you'll find it.

Hold on to all your coping mechanisms, they've got you this far.  It's not a foregone conclusion that with depression we are going to feel down about this.  Nowadays the treatments are excellent so there's lots of reasons to keep hope right there in your heart.   Take care, you've got this xxx

Thank you for your kind words.

I too was a nurse.

I'm on the breast cancer forum.

I see Oncologist 14th so will get my plan then.

Going to take myself out for a coffee later helps me to get out.

I have other health conditions so a lot to deal with.

My breast nurse is lovely .

Hope you are doing okay.

Doreen.

Dear Luppie, I see all the mindfulness, yoga, meditation and other psychological things offered to people with cancer and with depression but I find them all hard to enter into. I'm currently having 6 sessions with someone from the hospital counselling team, had three already and I hear her, I know it makes sense but can't concentrate on "doing" anything.  Depression as I've said can colour our reactions so I'm not always sure if what I believe is true or not.  In the dark wee hours I often feel so alone do you?

My daughter is away at college so I'm home alone right now.  I don't fall asleep til late and always wake during the night.  Do you have anything to distract you then?  I read a lot and have an alottment.  It sounds like you've just been diagnosed hon so it's too early for you to have accepted your mastectomy so don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself.   I think the NHS is too busy to offer  emotional support very sadly and if you've quite a few issues going on it must feel like a very heavy load you're carrying and this new cancer diagnosis may feel like the last straw to you.  Have you tried any talking therapies?  Philosophically I can say we are often all alone even when we live with our family, alone in our thoughts.  Allow yourself time, be kind to you.  I hope after your appointment on the 14th there will be a plan for you to busy yourself with.  That may distract you some more I hope and offer positive vibes for you to hold onto.  Take care and share how you get on. Xx 

Like you I have used all these different therapies but personally don't get any benefit from them.

I live alone with my wee dog she is my constant companion  

For years I had a CPN visit but haven't  needed  that for a long time now.

So I have that contact if need be.

I can distract myself during the day but it's harder at night as I have insomnia so often awake .

I used to read but find I have no concentration for that now.

I play music and Potter about on line to pass the hours at night.

Will update you soon.

I hope you are coping as best you can it's not easy x

1. Not an easy time.  I can't read in bed.  I wake up, sigh and put the kettle on. I'm in a flat on the first floor so in the early hours I creep out quietly with my cuppa and book and vape out in the darkness. I live next to an open field and the sea.  I think I must be tired all the time really.  Also finally I have a DAB radio and fallen in love with the (very English) World Service. I like to hear voices in the dark night and I've learnt so many interesting things. X