Dealing with family drama…

I am just going to download on here as I am really struggling with my family. My mum is 75 and has been diagnosed with breast cancer. We are awaiting her treatment plan. I have two brothers and mum lives with my young brother. The last couple of weeks have been tough. I empathise with my brother as he’s handled mums appointments and is doing his best. It’s just that he often withholds information or drip feeds or even manipulates by insisting he can only talk to me and not my eldest brother only to find he’s shared different versions of information.

Yesterday there was a similar cycle of communication and I asked him to not withhold facts about mums appointments etc and to be transparent and consistent as otherwise it’s causing confusion and feelings of mistrust. He has exploded in anger and feels I’m unsupportive and has now blocked all communication. He thinks I am pushing him and he’s dealing with a lot and has interpreted everything as a personal criticism. I know this is a tough time and we all handle things differently but I can’t help but think this is not the way. I just feel so hurt and am worried in the sibling drama we are losing sight of mum. Has anyone handled family stuff? Especially a very disfunctional family and can offer advice please. I don’t want to upset my brother but at the same time am frightened of saying the wrong thing and having this pattern of him blocking all communication then having to literally beg him to engage only for this to repeat is so draining. My older brother shrugs it off by saying this is how my brother is. I just don’t know whether I’m being unreasonable or whether there’s another way to handle all this. I’m walking on eggshells for the fear that my brother is going to bail and not want to carry on with mum. It all feels so overwhelming. My brothers / mum are in Kenya and I’m in the UK. Any help or advice or constructive feedback please.