Disbelief

I have sent you a postcard Gemmary

I've had a similar thing, on Thursday evening I had an unexpected call from my consultant, he said that my CT scan has not yet been reported, I was supposed to have a call from him first thing on Friday to discuss the results, so he wanted to defer my appointment for a week. However he did say that he had looked at the scan and could see nothing.

I've taken this as a positive, but I can certainly understand your feelings especially given the 2 specific areas to be considered.

Best wishes

Hi Gemmary ,

 I have just read your post and I hope you are feeling more positive.

 I fully understand how you were (or are) feeling down. It is a hard thing to explain, isn’t it? 

I am feeling very worn out and fed up today myself. In September I was told I have a prolapsed pelvis caused by radiotherapy and operations. I was dancing around the consultant’s office and I even asked him to marry me! Well He didn’t say no, ha, ha, ha,  However, lately I have been worrying. I worry about my colostomy, I worry about my prolapsed pelvis, fistula and pain. Today I am totally worn out. I don’t know what to do. I am scared most of the time and my confidence is low. 

Anyway, I wanted to know if you are feeling better.

Thinking about you, love and good vibes,

 LisaCardiff I am a bit better, thank you. I gave up and rang the Macmillan helpline for a chat, which helped a little. I then gained some perspective until this week. The 1st was the anniversary of my diagnosis, which was ok, but I happened to lol at some photos from 2 years ago, celebrating the end of treatment/clear scan, and was gutted that I felt better then than I do now. Long covid has a lot to answer for. I will have to try and see if this is as good as it gets, but where to go for answers.....???

Anyhow, maybe you could try the helpline?? It is worthwhile, and may help with the fear and confidence. You do sound like you have a lot on your plate, and it may help to talk it through with an impartial nurse. 

What I can suggest is to try and take care of yourself, if you are worn out, do a little less. Be kind to yourself (says me who has trouble with this!!) as it does work if you can do it. Baby steps. 

Take care ((hugs))

Hi Gemmary ,

Thank you for your reply and I am glad you are feeling better, even if it is a little bit. I am glad you rang Macmillan and they are so lovely. I am not good at talking because I clam up and I don’t find it helps, for me anyway but I am glad it helped yourself and others too.

 I agree with everything you have said. 
I don’t know if it is fatigue or I am worn out with everything. Mum is poorly and can be very demanding. She wakes m dad up at 4.00am most mornings because she wants a cup of tea which wakes me up, so another reason why I feel so exhausted. She was ill or the weekend and the doctor visited yesterday and made arrangements for her to go into hospital. She played up something chronic and because she had to wait in an ambulance at A&E she kept ringing my dad telling him and she wanted to come home. The ambulance woman rang me and told she was distressed! So I was I. In the end my dad went to the hospital and brought her home. Today she playing the victim because our GP told my dad this morning and told him she wanted to go home (which she did) and her husband picked her up (which he did), but she denies moaning about coming home. Sorry to moan about this.

Anyway, on a much better note, I am/we are getting a cavachon puppy in about 4 weeks. He is 4 weeks old at the moment and he is one of 8 in his litter and him and his brothers and sisters are a rose gold colour. I will post some photographs when he is here and I named him Fernando, because I love ABBA and I saw them when I was 10 years old in concert.

I am glad you are feeling better and I hope you get your groove back soon, says she who is still trying to do it.

Sending you love and good vibes

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Thanks, LisaCardiff, I'm still plodding on. It will take time.  I guess you might be suffering from both, but at least the tiredness you can work on. Sorry to hear about your mum, you dad must have a lot of patience!!

Well done for getting the puppy. I am trying to find a rehome at the moment, though I had puppy cuddles today with a visiting JR pup!!!

Take care! Xx

This is my baby girl, Cavashon, Milly Moo she is 6 now, she is my baby girl princess. Thought I’d send this to make you smile. Xxxxx

Hi 1996,

Thank you for t your photograph of Milly Moo, she beautiful and she looks very knowing and intelligent. And she made me smile and thank you for being so lovely, I really appreciate it, thank you.

Love and good vibes 

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HI Gemmary ,

Thank you for your reply and I guess it does take time. As they say step by step, day by day.

Yes, my dad does have a lot of patience but gets frustrated as mum can be ungrateful. I think sometimes she gets scared.

 I am glad you had a puppy cuddles, that will make you feel better. And we are looking forward for Fernando moving in with us. And I will post some photographs for you and everyone else.

Sending you love and good vibes,

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Looking forward to the photos of Fernando. Xxxxx