If my openness helps someone realise they are not alone when diagnosed with Cancer then I will be happy.
Endoscopy And My First Scan.
My journey with Cancer started years ago but at the time I was convinced it was IBS. If I am totally honest I still think it might be IBS along with a cancerous growth. So after many years of problems with my toilet activity and diarrhoea I sought medical help as things became more difficult to control. After supplying a stool sample and having the doctor check me out I was told its nothing to worry about and go home. However that was not to be the case and so I sought further help and a different doctor put me on the two weeks programme to try and find out what was causing the problems. The first thing was an appointment for a endoscopy. Now that’s were things got very difficult with a preparation to drink to ensure my bowels were as empty as possible. Having prepared the drink I took the first dose. I had heard of Dysentery but never experienced it until about half an hour later. The situation was horrible and the whole episode lasted well past my appointed time at the hospital and so I had to cancel the procedure which was not taken lightly by the person who took the call from me. With the threat of being discharged I told her that I was unable to leave the toilet for more than a few seconds and so I politely said okay and cancelled the call and handed the phone back to my wife. So with the possibility of being discharged at the back of my mind I booked a telephone appointment with the doctor who had put me on the two weeks programme and explained to him that the idea of travelling to the hospital no matter which way was impossible and I apologised for not being able to take advantage of his organising my Cancer journey. The doctor was very sympathetic and said leave it with him. My brother who was supposed to take me to the hospital showed a lack of fully understanding the situation as were the rest of my family who said, you have got to go etc. But my fears were unfounded and in a few days I was offered another appointment and I was sent a different type of preparation to help ensure my bowel was as empty as possible during the examination. And after taking the new mixture and allowing it to work I was off to the hospital the following day with my wife with an empty but manageable bowel. The procedure was carried out and I was told I had a cancerous growth in my back passage and I was asked, why have you left it so long. I reflected on the possible reply that I had suffered with far less severe symptoms that responded well to the over the counter IBS treatments but I decided on just letting the question remain unanswered. With the endoscopy results known the next stage of my journey was a CT scan at a local hospital and then a wait for the next communication sent from the main hospital charged with looking after me. Following the CT scan I was informed that a MRI scan was required as well.
I shortly received a letter asking me to attend an appointment with the surgeon who was looking at my situation with regards the tumour. She was very nice and explained in simple to understand terms how she saw the situation and the possible removal of the growth. She explained how it was to near the wall of my rectum for her to be able to surgically remove it completely and said she wanted to try and get it shrunk if possible. She said I would receive a letter from the hospital in due course and it would explain what was to happen. She was right and I received a letter from the head of the Oncology department telling me she had asked for help and said an appointment had been made for me to talk to him to explain what was to happen. My wife and myself duly attended and he explained the process I was about to embark upon. That part of the journey was for a five week period every day for Chemo Therapy and Radio Therapy. The Chemo tablets to be taken at home and the radiotherapy at the Oncology department at the same hospital we were presently at. My wife came with me every day for the five week period bless her. And so we both chose the best route to take to the hospital and duly met a wonderful bunch of people who looked after me for those five weeks. Their kindness and professionalism will remain with me for the remainder of my life.
The first visit was arranged and we arrived with plenty of time to spare. A young chap came and called out my name. He walked over to me and handed me a plastic water bottle saying it was a gift and it would come in handy during my treatment. He explained it was important that my bladder was full during my radiotherapy treatment and asked me to drink about a pint of water before setting out from home for the future and for now to drink about half a pint which I duly did. I was duly prepared for the scan and l laid on the table and was slid into the machine. The process was expertly carried out in a very short time and when I asked afterwards if it was possible to get to the hospitals main entrance where we had parked the car he offered to show us the way.
A few days later we started the five weeks treatment with my wife Sandra accompanying me every day. Our chosen route to the hospital which was down country lanes became very familiar to us both and quite enjoyable while they lasted. I was given a new schedule every week for the appointment times and considered myself lucky with those offered. Each week I had a blood sample taken and became used to offering up my arm for the needle. In the early stages of the radiotherapy the need to have a full bladder was relatively easy with a visit to the toilet after the procedure was completed. But as the weeks went by I found myself sitting out side the scan room after the nurses had scanned my bladder to see if it was sufficiently full only to be told that I needed a little more time or a little more water to drink. I laughed and said I am off to sit on the naughty step again then. Each time that happened I was told not to worry as it was quite normal and I was not on my own. At almost the very end of my five weeks of radiotherapy I suffered the ultimate embarrassment of losing control of my bladder when trying to put my jeans back on. With three nurses present I was making a mess on the floor and all over my jeans and socks. The nurses were fantastic with one rushing a bottle to me and another offering up paper towels. With the situation under control once again I changed myself into the cloths I carried in my backpack for such emergencies. The senior nurse told me not to worry as others have been there before me. I was surprised to find I suffered little embarrassment as I took her words to heart and thanked them all for their kindness and support.
The following day I attended my final treatment and all went well. My wife and myself had brought chocolates for all of the nurses and staff who had looked after me and I found it quite emotional as I said my farewells to the lovely nurses who were so kind, professional and considerate during the my five weeks of treatment.
I was told that the next stage would be an MRI scan and an appointment would arrive in the post very soon.
MRI Scans.
I intend to be as open as possible with my disclosures about my day to day life with Cancer and hope by doing so it will help others who find themselves diagnosed with Cancer. The more open about Cancer we all are then hopefully the better patients, friends and families can feel about their individual situations.
My wife had already had an MRI scan but it was a first for me. With her advice and company we set off to the hospital nearest to us for my introduction to the MRI scanner. With pyjama bottoms on and a locker allocated for my possessions I was shown into a small waiting room where I was to have a cannula fitted to allow the injection of a substance to show better details during the scan.
My wife was right when she told me that the scan was very noisy but as I worked as an engineer all my working life I found it quite tolerable.
A voice announced this scan will last for three minutes before the noise started. I was very much like a load of lump hammers had been thrown into a cement mixer and then turned on. The next announcement said this scan will last for six minutes. It was then that I notice a windows type of data loading strip at the bottom of the screen as viewed on the beach scene I was given to watch by way of the head gear fitted to me. I watched the data scroll across the screen and got ready for the next scans duration.
With all of the different scans completed I was helped off the scanners table and then waited in the small waiting area for the cannula to be removed.
A small patch placed over the spot of blood where the needle was removed and the dreaded sticky tape to hold the patch in place and the job was done for the day and so it was back home for us both.
Then it was a case of waiting for the next letter again.
During the whole of my treatment I received letters telling me about telephone conversations I would be having which were to check up with how I was coping and feeling. I found them both useful and reassuring and was grateful for them. One such call came and I was told that I should have received a letter about a CT scan which it was realised had not been sent out. The caller gave me the details about an appointment which was booked for me and said I would not receive a letter as it would not arrive in time. We both attended and I had the scan and we both thought thank the lord the scans are over and now we just have to wait for the results. Unfortunately another phone caller told me that the scan results were not clear enough and that I needed another MRI scan. I asked about the particular scan and was told it was to get a better view of my Liver. The scan itself was different in so far as I was asked to hold my breath during various parts of the procedure a task I found difficult as I am asthmatic. Having been told do your best I did and now I await further communication from whomever is tasked with that job.
SOME PERSONAL BITS.
“So far I have not made any comments about my state of mind with regards my Cancer diagnosis. I suppose its a reflection on my attitude to life and my tendency to try and accept the situation regardless of the cause, but its at the back of my mind twenty four seven and that’s a fact”.
One of the biggest concerns I have is attending appointments because of my uncontrolled Diarrhoea problems. I have to dose myself up with Imodium and just recently Codeine which was suggested by a Oncology nurse. I take it with a doctors approval and I am aware of the dangers associated with its long term use. I have to wear suitable protection in my underwear when out and about either for appointments or a trip to the local shops and presently use a male type incontinent pad designed for urine incontinence.
At home I make pads out of kitchen roll and toilet paper and burn the clinical waste in a garden incinerator.
Today I phoned up the Oncology nurse who has looked after me and asked if there was any news about the scan I had two weeks ago.
She told me that she would enquire and see if she can arrange a clinic appointment for me. She said she could not guarantee it would be this week but possibly next week.
I said next week would be fine. And so the wait continues and the anxiety levels begin to rise.
So my days now include Bluetooth on for hands free phone calls if I am in the car, constant checks on the outside letter box, emails constantly checked and checks on the household phone for any recorded messages left.
Today another medical problem that I have tried to put at the back of my mind due to trying to cope with the cancer situation has flared up and caused me to admit its no longer a case of trying to ignore it and so I phoned the doctors surgery. I now await a phone call consultation. What looks like a double hernia has no gone one sided and become painful. Just what I needed like a hole in my head.
Well the phone call did come but rather late and after my wife had phoned the surgery herself. The doctor was worried about the situation being strangulated and said that was an emergency situation and he told me he would phone the hospital and try and get me into the emergency assessment ward. He phoned me back and told me to get to the hospital by 6pm as they closed then. A mad dash down the motorway and a two hour wait with another blood test being taken before I was told the hernia was not strangulated and I could go home. I am sure he said he had manipulated it back into place for me. Any way back home and a late tea at 8-45pm. A good start to a new year.
Today I phoned up the nurse who I spoke too about a week ago about any news with regards my last scan. She told me that the team have a meeting every Tuesday to discuss patients and she told me she was disappointed that my name was not on the list for last Tuesday. She suggested it was probably down to the bank holiday situation etc. She told me she was going to ask the consultants secretary to call me to confirm a time for an update next Tuesday after the meeting is over. So its waiting again for me fingers crossed. As I finished typing this I just got a telephone call to confirm a time for the update call. So fingers uncrossed and roll on next Tuesday.
Meanwhile I am starting to compile a list of questions to ask whoever phones me up. Seems over the top but I have brought a laptop and printer into the lounge so I can update the list as more thoughts and questions come to mind.
