Low

Hi Inanna,

Welcome and it is fairly normal to feel low and scared with a cancer diagnosis. Also your probably openly asking the 'why me' question if your journey is like mine.

The best advice i can give is to breath out and get firm control of your head - this is the one thing that you can control. In my case i decided i was going to deligate worry to the doctors and medics (there wasnt anything i could do in this area other than follow their exact instructions) but i was going to make sure I did cancer with an 'A*' and set an example for my kids on how to face up to adversity and make it fun. Ironically, i have had a really good experience as i viewed any meetings or treatments as an opportunity to meet new people and learn their stories...Heck i have had a whole heap of experiences that i would nevery have had and met a lot of really fabulous people who have made me a much much better human being.

So there is a really really good chance that you will get over this illness and it would be a heck of shame if you reach this point and find that you have missed all the positive experiences.

Hope this helps and all the best.

Paul

Hi everyone.

all your advice and positive thoughts sound so great. I have terminal cancer, chemotherapy didn’t worked so I’m waiting to see what’s next. I’m always low and scared not knowing what’s next and how long I have left. Being alone and no one to talk too is making it even harder

Hi 

Don't b alone. Talk to us here, there's usually someone around whatever the time of day or night, eg there's,a thread called Awake in the Breast cancer group. Tho that's not your cancer, I'm sure they won't mind u joining the conversation- they're a really friendly lot .

Btw if u add a bit to your profile, folk will know where you're coming from n it'll save u keep repeating yourself.

Thanks for this Paul

Thanks for this Paul

Dear Mike,

What a beautiful picture and comforting answer. I love the way you see the online community represented, what you see describes how I feel. I love this community, we all take many different roles depending on how we are feeling. One day the comforter the next day needing comfort. I always get reassurance and comfort from your posts and the other "leaders" in the community. Thank you for caring about us and sharing your many experiences. You strike me as a very wise, compassionate person and I feel so lucky to have "met" you and the others on this forum. I have learned so much from everyone. All the replies from forum members to Inanna demonstrate the kindness that is continually shown to others including my self and I am impressed by the creative talent many people have. I hope you feel better tomorrow Inanna, we know these feelings will pass until the next rollercoaster! There is always someone here  to catch us when we fall and all forum members have lifted my spirits through art, wise answers, general sharing of experience and lots of brave humour. I wish I could meet you at the next get together but I won't manage it, but I will be looking forward to reading about it and expecting to laugh at the news. Hope everyone manages to get some peaceful sleep tonight, I am off to see what the "fruit loops" are saying whilst munching on my middle of the night snacks!

Thanks, love and hugs to you all

Pat xx

Hi Paul

I agree with you and when there is laughter it makes the day a lot better. This Forum is a saviour, feel low get on the forum, if you want a laugh get on the forum, if you need advice or can give advice, well you know where to go.  I have a thread called Amusing Hospital Stories, I bet you have a ton so please share.

Love Inanna

xx

Hi again Dee , so sorry that you are feeling low, pared, alone and living with the fear of the unknown.

So at least you have found the Community - a safe place to talk and be supported. I see that you have joined our Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only Group. This would be a great place to connect with people who totally understand the journey you are on. 

What about checking out the following links to see if there is a place where you can sit and talk one on one with someone - this would help a lot so check to see if there are any Local Macmillan Support or even a Maggie’s Centre in your area.

You may also want to check our Macmillan Support Line Services - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This is a place where you can make a cup of tea and talk with a real person.

I do remember 20 years back when I was first diagnosed with my condition being told that it was incurable and would 'get me' at some point in time....... and had to calendar to work towards.

We had to live with this for over our heads for many years, but the development in treatment has meant that I have actually been told I am in remission......... but no guarantees.

How did we position ourselves on the spectrum of life and living? We very quickly agreed that we live every day to its full, as though it was our last day together.

I read this in a post on the Community a few weeks back........ 'We can all be run over by a bus as any time and that everyones bus had left the depot.......... but we don't know whether ours was still parked up or just around the corner'

I think that this describes the stance we took well........ live what life we have to the full, find people who you can walk this life with and don't be looking for the bus, but look for the safe place to 'be'

((hugs))

Hi Pat

Thank you so much for your lovely post.

IYes it is a roller coaster ride but the plusses are the kindness of people.  This wonderful forum, the hospital gang and friends and family.

I am so grateful to all of you for making me laugh, being there on the downturns and your understanding.

Love Inanna xx

Good morning Pat , I am so pleased that you found some comfort in my post but most of all love that you find the Community to be like a diamond  - a multi faceted place where everyone can be who they are and find what they need just at the right time.

We are still staying with our youngest daughter/husband and second oldest granddaughter as we are getting our 22 year old kitchen replaced. We had a run over to have a look yesterday and promptly came back for another night - the great clean and decoration starts tomorrow.

I often talk about positioning our mindset to get through all the stuff that life and indeed a cancer journey can throw at us. It's snowing rather strongly in and around Inverness this morning and the picture is of our granddaughters reaction to the snow...... its not seen as a "Oh no, how can I get to school? - the world is coming to an end!!" type thing......... it's more an opportunity to grab life right at that moment in time, to enjoy the moment, to make memories and enjoy them........ mind you I did not join her when she asked me to come play.

Four years back we were told to get all our affairs in order, but during those four years we have seen the birth of our 4th granddaughter, been to places that we never thought we would ever see, had our 40th weeding anniversary......... and put in a new kitchen......lol 

Time is precious, people are precious and a good mindset says " don't waste energy stressing over stuff that we just don't have control over but put our energy into getting through each day and enjoying the moment" - coffee time I say.

((hugs))