When you can't cope anymore

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Is there anything other than the usual advice of 'take a pill or speak to someone' which can be done when you can't cope with hormonal therapies anymore? they've quite literally ruined my life and I am out of options. Speaking to other people who have been through something 'similar' is pointless too, as all I see everywhere is 'recurrence' 'recurrence' and I've quite literally, had enough. I am in regular contact with my Oncologist and quite simply, there are no more options. My eyes are ruined by cells from a side effect of a medication and they don't know what it was. I am 4 stone heavier and can't lose weight, my relationship is dead, for anyone on hormone medication, you know what I mean. I have no children, I am 43 now, I was 36 when it first happened, I am now absent from work as I can't think anymore or concentrate and none understands and never will. Antidepressants are out of the question. I am so ANGRY and talking to people who don't have a clue what any of it is like is not helping me. What I want to know if that If 1 in 2 people will have cancer in their lifetime why do I have 20 work colleagues who don't have it, no family members with it, no friends with it. I am incredibly alone and looking for ways out of this intolerable life.

  •   you say that talking to other people in a similar situation doesn’t help you, but I just wanted to say I understand!  Hormone therapy is shit! We don’t get any after care at all, just told to get on with it because it is saving our lives. I was diagnosed at 39, but have been in hormone therapy for nearly 10 years now. I do not recognise the person I have become. I am currently shuffling around like an 80 year old. I too had to give up work. My brain does not engage anymore. The weight gain, hot flushes, confusion and brain fog are just the icing on the cake. Yes I am grateful that I am still here, but I really miss the old me! 

    Chelle 

    Try to be a rainbow,in somebody else's cloud
    Maya Angelou

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  • Hello  

    I'm Steph from the Community team, I hope you don't mind me reaching out here to offer you some additional support. 

    I hear that you're going through a lot of very difficult emotions and that you're struggling to see a way forward. I hope it has helped a little bit to type it all out and to hear from Chelle in response. 

    There are lots of people here who have been where you are emotionally. Although it might not be what you want to hear, I would encourage you to keep talking here in the forums. However if it's really not helping, there is lots of alternative support available to you. 

    Although we can't take your worries away, we can all help you adjust and cope with the way that you're feeling. Lots of people talk about not being able to go back to the life they had, or have planned for, but discover a 'new normal' they can cope with.

    I'd also encourage you to keep talking to your GP about how you're feeling. 

    Our Support Line teams are here for you as long as you need them. They're available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00email or live webchat.

    We also have courses and workshops that can support you. HOPE (Helping to Overcome Problems Effectively) is a free short course on coping with and after a cancer diagnosis.

    I wondered if you had any Macmillan Information and Support Centres, or a Maggie's Centre or similar service nearby? You might benefit from some face-to-face support and some centres offer complementary therapies that can help you feel much better.

    There might not be any quick fixes, but if you can take things one day at a time and focus on small achievable goals going forward, we hope you will feel a little more positive.

    Please do get in touch if you have any questions around using the Community, or help finding further support.

    Steph
    Online Community Officer