Dad aged 66 stoma / ileostomy 12 inches of colon removed almost 3 weeks ago due to start chemotherapy next week .# Help# advice # suggestions all welcome .

Hi Clare

I have just gone on the forum. My mum is on the same time line as your father, though she is 90. she doesn't have a stoma but is on a white  diet and painfully thin. They haven't suggested any vitamins or supplements but she needs something to help her immune system. She has a daily blood thinning injection for hypertension. She was offered chemo last Friday. I too am worried about side effects given her advanced age though she is mentally strong and physically able  e.g.: can dress, wash, bend, stretch, walk.

Has your dad's cancer spread anywhere else? My mother is I believe Stage IVA as it has spread to both lungs, though it's not confirmed. Of course at 90, I want her to have the best outcome for happiness. I am not sure chemo will help her. For your father, I believe you should go for it as fast as you can and demand a dietician to advise on supplements and how to help counter side effects etc. They have offered my mum a dietician.

Did you find the chemo people a little vague? She too received a sort of belt and brace 3 months blast  advice from a pretty blunt  consultant, 21 days pills, then intravenous, followed by 2nd pill cycle, intravenous, 3rd pill cycle intravenous. He  insinuated that if she did that she would last till next Xmas... 

Where are you? She is at RMH which of course is a flagship hospital but the whole thing is daunting . 

What are your care options or is it only you? That is the other piece worrying me. I am in recovery for breast cancer myself with two grown up kids and usually work abroad. My sister is a separated mother of two with a full time job.

We are stepping up but it's a scramble. I hope you aren't coping alone. Try to get sleep and do small things for you.

best

Caroline

Hi Caroline ,

Thank you so much for your reply , I haven’t been on here as my little boy (10) broke his arm badly and had to have surgery.

it’s so worrying isn’t it , facing chemotherapy when all the covid cases are rising and there are no rules really . 

My Mum will be my Dads main carer and due to covid she will pretty much have to do everything alone . They are isolating now he starts next week.

They don’t ask questions and I can’t go to appointments , and I do worry about them questioning things . But I have to accept the things I can not change , to keep me semi sane .

wishing you and your Mum love luck and healing xx