Hi, I am supporting my (not computer literate) husband who has just been diagnosed with cancer of the liver, although it is probably not the prime site.
He is being referred to an Oncologist of whom we hear good reports in that he is amongst the top in the field. However, we have heard that he is very quick during his consultations and doesn't have a very good patient/doctor manner. This worries us - should we be concerned? We were hoping to find someone who is supportive and compassionate.
Our oncologist isn't particularly chatty when we go for apppointments but to be honest for the last few times we havn't seen him anyway, we have seen another one who tends to be much more pleasant. I think I would go with the oncologist who is top of his field,I'm sure if you ask the questions he will answer you, the nurses are always available to talk to for practical advice.
We find that now we are on treatment we have a tendancy to want to get out of the hospital asap anyway.
Also what you have to think about is peoples opinions vary what somebody thinks is a short talk may not be to you.See for yourselves once you have had your first app after all there is only so much they can say to you. You will get a lot of the support, help and compassion that you want and need on this site.
Good luck with any treatment when is your appointment with the oncologist let us know how you get on wont you.
Thank you Tina for replying so quickly. Yes, I can see that there are a lot of very supportive people on this site and it's comforting to know that. Will let you know how we get on.
Love, Marian
Hi there - sorry to hear about your husband M. I was just going to say - if you know that this doctor is always in a hurry then make sure that you take a list of questions - otherwise you may come out wishing that you had asked about things - you can always jot down the answers too! I cant understand why Doctors do this - my own oncol gives you as much time as you need and always makes sure that you understand everything. Best wishes hope it goes well. Jools x
If he is top of his field I would stick with him. Oncologists all have different personalities and I know it can feel like you are not being taken seriously if they whisk in and out, throwing words over their shoulder. However, if his success rate is good... He will be working with a team, and you could possibly see the registrar sometimes. As Jools says, write a list of questions beforehand, and get ready for a quick-fire round as soon as he gets in the door.
Having said that, I know that it works wonders to have someone listen to what you say, to actually sit down and explain things instead of the being brusque. I think that some people can wilt under the harsher regime, and do need a smidgeon of courtesy and humanity. Hope things come right for you.
Lots of love xxxx Penny
Hi Maggie, I am sorry you feel rushed at these appts. At times the doctors seem that way. Kind was like that. Just be strong, and ask any questions you both feel are relevant to the situation. Try talking with your hubby before the appt, see what is concerning him and you. Remember your part of this aswell, please remember, these doctors, see patient after patient, they may seem not bothered, but they are, they are the professionals who deal with this day after day, they will do there very best for you both. Do some research into the condition, there are plenty of people on here as well who may be going through the same events as yourselves, so read up a little, ask plenty of questions about anything you are unsure of. The nurses are also very helpful, they may have a 24 hour telephone service, where you can call and enquire about a particular what symptom ,if you are unsure. Everyone on here will try to help you both. Just take it one day at a time, that way you won't get yourselves upset. You have each other, talk about it, it's the best way. This site is great, helpful, caring, and lots of advice available to you both. We are all thinking about both of you. Good luck.
