Hiya,
It's been a while since I've been on the forum, to be honest, I have been doing my best to ignore what's to come...
Anyhow, Hospice nurse visited today and she asked about our preferences for care and end of life. I'd been quite certain that I'd want my dad here at home, and not in the hospice. Especially now, given the whole covid situation, so only 2 named people are allowed in the hospice to visit ever....
I've been told that if we go for at home care I'd get up to 4 visits a day, I guess to assist with getting my Dad dressed; washed; fed; and then put to bed at the end of the day.
We don't need any assistance at the moment, but don't know how long that will continue.
Wanted to find out from anyone that's in this situation currently and whether I'm biting off more than I can chew? I'm working full-time, albeit from home, but there's no-one else, just me and my Dad, and my dog. I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, dog walking etc. currently, so that'll just continue.
Thanks
(posting here as well as the incurable group as wasn't sure which group would be best)
Hi
Sorry to read this, in practice though I am sure you know only you can really answer that question.
From our personal experience, my wife's dad has Super Nuclear Palsy - between Janice and her brother they managed to look after him at home for about 2 years but as he got worse they did not have the ability to offer the level of care he needed so they ended up moving him to a care home.
My mum and dad managed to care for themselves for some time with support from carers, then my brother moved in to help support them and that lasted about 4 more years, finally my dad got too ill and then they moved to supported living accommodation near both my sisters. Finally when my dad got worse he went in to a care home where he finally died. Mum died totally out of the blue still in the supported living accommodation.
Perhaps the key thing is to remember to look after yourself - after all not only is your dad relying on you but so is your dog and your employer as well.
A friend of mine recently took a leave of absence for 1 year to look after his mother, sadly she died after just 1 month and it seems to me he is still struggling to come to terms with that but is making the best of the break to sort himself out.
If it helps do reach out on here, or ring the helplne 0808 808 0000 and sometimes perhaps we all need to make use of the The Room - Discussion Forum - scream let things out and slam the door firmly behind us.
<<hugs>>
Steve
