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Carers only

Looking after a loved one with cancer? This is a safe and supportive place to share your worries and emotions. Please remember when posting that this group is for Carers only.


Posted by

I am new to this group and tonight feel like I have to seek advice from somewhere. On Friday my husband was told he has lung cancer he has had an x ray and ct which has showed a 4cm lesion to his right lobe. He is terrified as he has lost majority of his family to cancer. He normally works full time but due to his breathlessness and anxiety he has not been able to work for the last couple of weeks. He would normally chill after a full day's work with a couple of beers but since finding out he has cancer he has tried to cope with being scared by blotting his emotions with drink but its not helping has anyone had experience of this please that could give me some advice on how to help him xx

Posted by

Hi Bigdebs, I'm so sorry about your Husbands diagnosis, it's clear that he's struggling. It's early days and a shock for all and everyone reacts differently. It may be that he is blocking it out but I can see why you are concerned plus you have your emotions to deal with as this effects you too. I don't really know what to say, other than maybe speak to his GP. I know when my Dad was diagnosed he was very upset, would spend time thinking a lot, although not saying what he was thinking, I can only imagine. 

This is such a difficult time and I do feel your pain. I really hope that things improve for you both in terms of the early days, its such a terrifying time I know how helpless you can feel.

Please take care of yourself x

Posted by


i can’t say I can help but my husband has gone through similar .. he was told lung cancer stage 3, then they said maybe not cancer then we finally got told lung cancer stage 4 so that was a shock ..

my husband struggled and is struggling and it’s really difficult . Sounds like you are still awaiting a full diagnosis after a pet scan or biopsy? The waiting is so hard and my husband was extremely anxious .. 

We have a young child in the mix too which is really difficult to managed ensuring we keep everything normal which is just so hard ..

happy if you want to private message to chat more x

Posted by

Hi bigdebs, 

I have just gone through the same as you! Only difference my husband binges anyway with PTSD so he has hit the drink big time! 
I am struggling! We have been for the first oncology appointment and they have ignored this completely! 
I am scared he is going to make himself unwell because they have signed him up for chemo and immunotherapy without considering this at all!! 
I have had enough already and feel totally unsupported and not listened to by the hospital! I have absolutely no trust in them! 

Posted by

Thank you Izzy, I think it helps to know you are not the only one! Just don’t see how they can get it all so wrong with no explanation or apology! 
It really makes it hard to trust them! I don’t want to see my husband struggling with treatment just to prolong life if it is poor quality life! My daughter is in her GCSE year! My children lost their dad when my son was doing his GCSEs! I am trying to protect everyone, work and care!!!