Just a distracting moment

  • 11 replies
  • 49 subscribers
  • 7105 views

To those that are still following the emotional journey of caring. Such a minor word, care, so easily swept past and unnoticed. 

I have been there and lost and still caring but now dementia is my foe. 

To you all at the beginning, middle and end of this journey - hero! Strength, fortitude, love. You may feel like you are falling apart but you are still here, still fighting, self sacrificing. 

Today I just wanted to say thank you to all that got me through an often painful journey but one full of love and laughter too. Finding humour or beauty in our days is how we coped.

When faced with a flood of diarrhoea to say "wow, wish this was on a canvas, it would sell for a fortune in the Saatchi gallery!" and make them laugh.  To go outside and see a dandelion pushing up between your neglected flagstones but providing pollen for a beautiful bumble bee. And our pets who will always nudge us and invade our space to offer companionship and comfort (or throw up on the doormat just as a guest is arriving!) 

Nobody can do this journey for us but sharing it make a huge difference. 

I can't share here very often now, as mine is a new path, and grief is still a path for me to follow.  I do have a couple of good friends made on this forum, still battling on, I wanted to share a photo and a smile with them. 

I hope that you, that are new to this forum, will gain the same benefits and friends I have. 

Yes those are my husband's pj's! 

Love and hugs Birdfeeder xx

  • Bless you dear lady so kind always and so wise .Wherever your journey takes you now know you are admired and loved and have supported so many people in their darkest times .Peace and love to you xx

    Granny Sue

  • This made me cry, you have a wonderful way with words, it should be published. Thank you for the strength you give xx

    Love is eternal
  • Birdfeeder, It's so good to hear from you again. Your posts are ones I will not forget. They provided alot of understanding,  support and empathy to people and many also brought a much needed smile and giggle to myself with their humourous elements. I second what Granny Sue says 'peace and love to you'

  • Dear Birdfeeder, 

    You don't know me. Until now you would have no reason to know I even exist. I came to this forum a year ago and have never posted, never been active, just lurking in the shadows, reading others posts and learning from their experiences.

    During that year I've experienced a multitude of emotions at an intensity I've never known before, grief, anger, rage, guilt and most of all fear. Paralysing, breath stealing, strength eroding terror as I contemplated what was to come.

    Whenever I came across your posts your words would take me to a still, silent place within myself where I found my own courage, where I remembered that whatever happens I am enough and I can do this. 

    Now I am at the stage on my journey where the things I feared are no longer in the future, they are here and now. I find myself no longer afraid. No longer powerlessly waiting, but able to take action and face what comes my way. 

    It never felt wrong not to reach out to you in return. Your support on this forum was clearly given freely with no debt to be paid.

    When I read your words this evening however I knew I wanted more than anything to let you know just how much you have helped me.

    People are described as hero's for many reasons. For me a hero is someone who can face the worst and still muster the strength to help those around them face it too. 

    You have been my hero. 

    With love and gratitude, 

    T

  • I second that...bird feeder has been a total comfort to me too.what a lively, strong, caring, funny lady xx

    never give up hope
  • Oh and we must laugh at situations,otherwise we would crack up,last night kevs poo bag burst,so as I was cleaning up,I walked through to the kitchen and discovered my naughty little dog had ransacked the bin and denolished a whole chicken carcass. .. and subsequently covered the lounge carpet in diahorrea! ..how lovely! !! 

    never give up hope
  • Ah Mandajayne

    Oh glory! Don't we love it when our pets join in with the "poonami" experience. There is definitely a split second choice, collapse in a blubbering heap or crack on and laugh about it. I confess to falling both sides of that coin. Our loved ones have enough to cope with, avoiding embarrassment with humour worked most of the time for hubby and mum. 

    If your like me, it would be the small stuff that would floor me. In particular "please hold" phone calls - noooo!!

    Beurocracy and form filling - if I was prime minister I would force all DWP rule makers to live for a week alongside a carer and cancer patient. Oh I believe there may be a vacancy for that position, hmmm ;)

    Anyway, hope that the naughty carcass raider has not caused you any more work and is recovering well. And your hubby and you have a comfortable night ahead.

    Hugs Birdfeeder x

    I will walk miles now for cancer charities, so others can walk beside their loved ones for as long as possible. 

  • Dearest 01592009

    What lovely words! To take the time to write now, when the going is tough, I am so humbled.

    This forum has honestly been the most important part of our journey. It kept me sane. 

    I feel a little ashamed and confused as to why I have avoided the forum, since my hubby's death.

    You are so lovely, and you have reminded me to dig deep and find that resilience in spirit. The power of this Macmillan community, sharing and understanding whatever the mood, such a blessing. 

    Love and hugs to you, Birdfeeder x

    I will walk miles now for cancer charities, so others can walk beside their loved ones for as long as possible. 

  • Dear ,

    You have no need to feel remotely ashamed; you have given so much and we all need time to recover, hence my hanging up my Champ's Hat for a while. We all need time to find ourselves on this journey, it's so easy to get lost in the stress, sadness, grief and general busyness of caring. Your posts are gems we all love to read whenever they appear.

    Love and hugs,

    LoobyLou
    If you find dust in my house, write your name in it. When the signatures overlap I'll get the polish. 

    Click here to see how to add details to your profile. It helps everyone to see a little about you

  • oh birdfeeder.. you do make me smile.. i tried to upload a pic of my naughty pup.. but i cant seem to do it lol xx

    never give up hope