Guilty and selfish

FormerMember over 5 years ago

1 reply
44 subscribers
1766 views

Hi All

My brother attended his GP 8 weeks ago due to a small lump on his neck, last Thursday we sat in a room and we were told that he only had 3 to 6 months and no option of treatment due to other physical health conditions. I am so angry but I don't know who at. I want someone to blame but I know there is no one to blame. I'm frustrated that he is missing things such as Easter he's in hospital at the moment NG tube fitted to help manage his pain and for feeds (he's loving the morphine haha). I'm so angry at myself for not making a fuss for his birthday a few weeks ago as I now know it was his last, not taking more photos at Christmas and just randomly taking that video when he done something silly.

We've spoke about little things when he does pass, but I am trying to focus on things we can do whilst he's still here me and my mum are more then willing to max out the credit cards to help make this happen but also have to plan for funds for his funeral he has no assets so will be down to us. I was wondering if there is any support to help with 'the bucket list' that people may know off.

Thanks for reading

FormerMember over 5 years ago

Hi and welcome to the online community and I am so sorry that the sad news of your brother has brought you to us.

I think that many in your situation will have the same thoughts why didn't I, I should have, I wish I had but we can't turn back the clock and put them right I think it is nice that you trying to look for ways to make the remaining months as memorable as possible.

I would suggest that you might benefit from speaking with one of the members in the Ask an Information and Support Adviser team if you click on the green text this will take you to a new page where you can repost your story and one of the team will get back to you with information on grants that might be available to you in your local area and how to apply.

You maybe able to claim for some government benefits depending on your situation and the adviser will be able to help you there as well.

Macmillans do have a grant scheme in place and you can read about it here Link to Macmillan grant page Again click on the the green text and this will give you all the information you need and how to apply.

I hope that you are able to do as much as you want to for your brother but the important thing is that you and your mother remain strong for him and just be there for him. A hug, holding his hand and talking to him might be all he needs during the coming months as he may not feel like doing anything else and take each day as it comes.

We in the carers group are very supportive of each other and you should always remember that we are all here for you at anytime you need to talk, to give advice or just to listen whilst you let off steam if you need to do so.

You and your mother should be also remember that looking after someone can be tiring and exhausting and you should try and make time for yourselves and only by looking after yourself will you have the strength to be of comfort to your brother.

Please come back at anytime the door is always open for a chat.

Ian

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