My dad has terminal liver cancer

FormerMember
FormerMember
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Hello, My name is Margaret. My dad was diagnosed with terminal (stage 4b) liver cancer 3 months ago, having been unwell for quite some time. The cancer has also spread to his lungs. I'm doing most things for my dad now which I'm happy to do. I have a few good friends who are a good support to me and dad.I know this should help but I'm really struggling with coming to terms that he can no longer eat, only sip fluids, doesn't want his meds etc. He's starting to withdraw now and the same happened with my mum who died from lung and brain cancer 5 years ago. I looked after my mum until she too went into hospice. I try to organise nice things for us like watching a film or looking at photos. I just feel so helpless and isolated all the time. I feel so guilty too about absolutely everything - am I doing or saying the right things, am I giving him what he needs? I'd be nice to hear from anyone who's feeling like this. thanks, Margaret
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Margaret

    You are never alone on this site. I think all of us carers feel the same as you at one time or another, I know I do. We never really know if we are doing the right things and just have to work it out as we go on this horrible journey.  It sounds like you are doing lovely things for your dad and I bet he really appreciates them, he just find it difficult to show you.

    Never feel you are alone, we are all in this together. Sending you a big hug.

    Linda

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember
    your dad has a very caring daughter looking after him.love your dad take each day as it comes you will know what to do for,your dad and for you.god bless
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Margaret, I think we all question ourselves from time to time - are we doing the right thing in the right way? You are obviously doing a great job of caring for your Dad, and he is lucky to have such a caring and loving daughter. It's good that you have friends who are a support to you, and I hope that you are also getting support from medical services, etc. 

    As others have said, you are never alone on this forum, and I hope that chatting here and saying whatever you need to say when you need to say it will help you. Everyone here understands - that is the beauty of this forum. 

    Take care of yourself xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember
    Hi Linda, thank you so much for your kind message, I really appreciate it. It is really nice to know that there are other people like yourself out there who know what it's like. I have a few good friends but only one has been through this with his mum. Margaret x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember
    Thanks for your kind message Windy. This site is a godsend. It's nice to know there are others who know what this is like. Margaret x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember
    Hi Tina, thanks for replying to my message. You're right, we do question if we're doing things right all the time. My common sense tells me I'm doing all I can for my lovely dad, I just feel really isolated sometimes. We have a great hospice community nurse who comes out for a chat, I'd go bonkers without her. Dad's going in to hospital on Tuesday to have his ascites drained for the second time so I'll be prepared for a few bad days after that. He was exhausted last time and he's much weaker now. Whatever way his journey goes I'll be with him. Margaret x
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Margaret,

    You sound like a loving and caring daughter and your dad must be very proud of you and be comforted by the care you are giving him. 

    As has been said, I think we all struggle with wondering if we could do better or more for our loved ones but at the end of the day we can only follow our instincts and do the best we know how. It sounds as though you are doing all you can. Sometimes it is just the being there that really matters rather than the doing things and you are there every step of the way.

    Hiloa x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi

    Am going through the same thing my mom was recently told by a doctor she has advanced-stage cancer in her liver which spread to her lungs and bones...there is nothing they can do ...i have been asking them to try immunotherapy but what they told me because of her liver is too damage to handle any kinf of treatment if they still do it , it might cause more harm ....i have been taking care of my mom and feel so helpless i know seeing your parents suffering like this ain't easy...i feel like dying inside slowly.......

    Anyone plz can help me if there is any treatment available for this advanced level of cancer or anything can be done to limit the virus or add some time in her life.... ,PrayPrayPrayPray