I feel so alone and anxious

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My husband has blood cancer x2. He has ET that has progressed to mylofibrosis.  He has had many surgeries for other things not related and the cancer for 26 years. I feel like it's really taking a toll now as he becomes more unwell.  I have sever anxiety issues and just feel alone. Life is a round of hospital visits and surgeries for him. Sometimes I just want to run away and hide from it all.