I posted this before. It is now worse. Last couple of days falls asleep when he sits down then awake most of the night. Tonight he snored for the first first couple of hours then vanished. Found him asleep on the chair. I'm not important enough, apparently, to make any effort for. He now says it is not a dirty look or huff it is realising that without me he would be floundering (his words not mine).
On his 9th folfox and pani tomorrow. This last week he won't eat and sleeps all day. When I mention food and the supplements he has been recommended I just get a dirty look and a huff.
Two more months minimum of this, its just getting worse. I try to be supportive and remember he is sick, it is just so hard.
It sounds to me like your husband is in a place of anger and fear.
Firstly, he is going through something which you cannot do for him. How long has he been poorly? He is probably sh1t-scared, obviously reliant upon you for moral and physical support, and knowing this is hard for him to deal with.
It takes a long while to process information and get through feeling horrid all the time. We've been at it since Easter and are.still learning (altho my 30 years of managing 2 chronic pain conditions have given me an insight others might not have yet!).
Do you discuss things?
I am thinking that if and when my wife gets to later stages of cancer my role and desire is to think about and ask how she wants to spend her last year, months and do what I can to support her in that. Are there particular TV series of films, music , audio books or whatever that he enjoys and you could listen to together or just things that he would,like to talk about?
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2026 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007