Alcohol and lack of self care

Hello AdeleS,

My name is Lizzie, and I work here in the Online Community.

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner’s diagnosis and everything you’re having to cope with at the moment. Caring for your partner while also dealing with the impact of his drinking, as well as being unwell yourself, sounds incredibly difficult. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling exhausted. Please be kind to yourself, you’re dealing with a great deal.

I really hope you find the Community to be a safe and supportive space where you can talk to others who understand some of what you’re going through. You don’t have to face everything on your own.

As well as the support you can find from other members, you can also access professional advice through our Ask an Expert forum. If there’s something you’d like to ask a professional, you can go to the relevant forum group and start a new thread. A Macmillan professional will then aim to respond within 1 to 3 working days.

Please also remember that the Macmillan Support Line teams are there for you. Sometimes, when everything feels overwhelming, it can really help to talk things through with someone who will simply listen and support you. The teams are available 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week, on freephone 0808 808 00 00, by email, or via live webchat.

If you haven’t already, it may also be worth speaking with your GP about everything that’s happening at the moment. They may be able to offer some additional support and advice for both you and your partner, particularly as you’re also trying to look after yourself.

If you’re worried about your partner’s drinking, you can also find support through your local alcohol support service, or contact Drinkline on 0300 123 1110 for confidential advice.

You may also find the following resources helpful:

• FRANK - offers information and confidential advice for people who are concerned about a loved one. They can be contacted on 0300 123 6600.

• Emotional effects of caring for someone with cancer
• A list of family support services | Alcohol Change UK
• Carers UK

There’s a lot here, so please don’t feel that you need to look at everything at once. Just take things one step at a time and, most importantly, remember to look after yourself too.

I hope some of this is helpful. Please do let me know if you have any questions about any of the information above, or if there’s anything else we can help you with. We’re here for you.

Hi AdeleS. My partner has similar  - colorectal with lung metastasis. They did find it relatively early so treatment had controlled things for two years (almost). I don't know whether your husband has treatment options but there is still a life to be lived. I hope he finds the strength to see this to give you both the chance to make the best of a terrible situation. 

Best wishes,