My husband of 38 years was diagnosed with prostate cancer 7 years ago. His prognosis is now not good since the cancer has spread to many places. My husband doesn’t know where to as he doesn’t want to know. Consequently, I have lived for 7 years not knowing anything about his condition or treatment and it has made me feel very low. He finishes many sentences with ‘If I’m still here.’
In the last two years he has started going out with a woman as ‘friends’ and tells me it is not sexual because of his condition. He goes out til 3am for meals and to clubs. He takes part in sport with her. He says he will not stop seeing her and that I should be glad he has friends. I feel he is emotionally cheating on me. I have heart disease and he uses this as a reason to go dancing with her because ‘you can’t’. I suggested we all go. He will not entertain that.
We have a new puppy and he loves the dog but will not change anything he is doing. He socialises at the pub where we used to go on days he is not working with his friends. I am excluded from this group on purpose. I am now tied to the house with the exception of a couple of hours when I leave the puppy in a puppy crate.
He says he doesn’t want to hurt me but he doesn’t have long left and will live his life as he wants to and nobody is going to stop him.
I am sad, overwhelmed, exhausted and resentful.
I can’t carry on like this any more.
