All he wants to do is watch TV

Hi KWo 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.

Sorry to hear about your husband, my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma - fortunatly for us chemotherapy managed to render her cancer stable and so as she says we live with cancer rather than anyting else. 

I wonder if there is something that might tempt him to go out and if he has any worries about being out too. We have a shake shop in town and there is quite a good buzz there of the regulars.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve

I'm pleased that your wife's cancer is stable, that's great that you can manage to live with the cancer. 

Whenever I suggest anything I'm just met with a scowl or an angry exasperation.

The suns out today, it's a lovely day and there's nothing to stop us going out and enjoying it. I hinted at such and got an angry growl, I just had to leave him feeling sorry for himself in bed and I'm sat downstairs wondering what to do with the day. 

I know that a big factor is that there's no appeasing him with the temptations of food or drink. He's nil by mouth nowadays and is being fed intravenously 12 hours a day. I'd see that as even more of a reason to get out the house whilst he's tether free but he just seems to want to wallow.

He used to be quite a get up and goer but it really does seem that he's given up. 

Hi Kwo, I feel your frustration. My husband was similar. Have you been give a time frame, or do you not want one. We bought a scooter for my husband and ge probably used it half a dozen times. Then one day, we had gobe out for breakfast, ge didnt eat much, he filled the car up, and then took to his bed. His hospice nurse thought it was depression and got him put on anti depressanrs which take about 6 weeks to kick in. He didnt get 6 weeks. Within a week we had a bed downstairs and soon after, he could only shuffle with a frame. 

I tried to get him out, even into the garden, borrowed a wheelchair, but he was content to be at home, chatting and watching telly. He also slept a lot. I had to accept it.

Im not suggesting your partner is in the same position, but when I look back now, I think his body was just getting weaker as the cancer was spreading out of control.

If you are connected into a hospice, is it worth a chat with them, or your GP if not? 

Keep chatting, these days weeks or months are really tough. X

Sorry to hear this. I think from speaking to others, it is mentally and physically draining for the patient living with a terminal diagnosis. He’s may be thinking what’s the point! All you can do is be there for him and enjoy the time together whether it’s watching tv all day or doing something else xx

It’s difficult to know what to do, isn’t it? Days at home can seem very long. I’m not quite in your situation as my husband is having palliative immunotherapy but he has complex health issues & many days doesn’t have the energy to do much. He watches a lot of TV and YouTube videos & seems content to do so, sleeping on and off too. Can you go out for a short while and leave your partner safely at home? I find that meeting a friend for a quick coffee & a chat or getting out for a brisk walk with some music in my ears helps with the frustration I sometimes feel. 

I'm sorry you're in this situation. My husband only wants to watch TV too. It frustrates me but I understand why. He doesn't have much time left in his already short life but he's exhausted as I imagine your partner is. He can't even focus on the TV, that's how fatigued he is. Cancer is a tiring disease, the disease itself is tiring, the treatment is tiring and being fatigued is not something I believe many of us understand at least I don't ever think I've been fatigued, not when I see what my previously engetic husband was able to do. If it is not just fatigue, have you spoken to your partner about how they're feeling, I'm utterly depressed and it makes it hard to do much at all. I can imagine cancer causing depression is a triple whammy of motivation challenge.