This year has been horrendous. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in April and is currently working through chemo before surgery in November. One tumour is operable but the second isn't, hence the chemo. We have been together over 30 years and I thought I was strong enough to deal with this having lost a number of family and friends to cancer but watching someone who has been my world for most of my adult life battle this insidious disease and seeing the changes and side effects is worse than anything else. On the outside I am calm, taking everything in my stride, on the inside I feel in knots, anxious for the future and crying most nights when alone. I am determined to be there for him but don't want him to see me like this. As a family we have a lot going on with illness and elderly parents plus we both work full time. I wanted to post this as it's the only way I can let my feelings out in public. I want to stay positive but it's difficult. I'm reaching out so I don't feel so alone with this. I don't want to burden my husband whilst he's fighting for his life.
