Struggling Mentally This Week

Just wanted to send hugs as this sounds like you have such a lot on your plate at the mo. That’s great news about his foot and not being in pain anymore. Sorry to hear about the lung situation. Easier said than done, but try not to worry about what might/might not happen. I have spent a lot of time worrying about my husband over the last 18 months and am also worried about what will happen if the treatment doesn’t work? Will they stop the treatment? But with therapy I’ve realised I can’t change the outcome. 
I wonder if it would help to just focus on the practical problems eg work and your living arrangements? Do you have a HR department you could talk to about them being difficult? I can’t believe how some employers can be during such difficult times!! 
It must be hard not having your own place. Do you manage to get time alone with your partner? Even if it’s just to watch tv or share a meal. My husband is really tired and barely eating but we make time to sit in the garden at night together for 5 minutes. It helps us to feel connected. 
I know what you mean about lonely. I have lots of friends to talk to but none of them really understand. I mentioned to a previous poster that I’d joined a macmillan support group. I found everyone really supportive and kind. Maybe this would be something you could try? Xxx

Oh Kate_ , that is not nice at all.

I just wanted to say that there are people on the Macmillan Support Line you could talk to, even just to rant. You never know, they might be able to suggest some things to help, too. This was a message in another chat:

We'd also encourage you to give our Support Line a call so you can talk everything through and access further support.  Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.

There is also the information on their website about 'Work rights as a carer for someone with cancer':

Understanding work rights as a carer for someone with cancer | Macmillan Cancer Support

Employers can be really funny about rights if you're not married or in a civil partnership; however, they are your partner, and you have become a carer. Please have a read of this to see if it helps.

Now... Emotions... Phew! Kaleidoscope, roller coaster - ok one minute, not the next. Becoming scared of the question, "How are you?". Don't ask me! I'm not allowed to feel emotions cos I'm not the one going through cancer. You're both, all, on the journey, and it's good to talk.

You have a lot going on (understatement of the year award), and you don't have to be strong through it all. You have to concentrate on getting through it, but that hopefully shouldn't mean hiding how you're feeling, asking for help or asking to talk.

Find a way to have 'little nuggets of joy'. Whether that's taking a book to the park (alone or with your partner), watching the birds, or, dare I say it, strangling the in-laws. Joking aside, you've given up a lot, and it's difficult, so please take a little time to rant, cry, shout, scream - and give yourself a hug.

Hey,

Wishing your partner all the goodness and health keeping everything cross for him. Im 30 and my partner is 32 and was diagnosed with lymphoma at the start of the year. We recently got the all clear which we were so greatful for but of course the journey doesnt just end there.

I can really relate to what you were saying in terms of putting your life on pause (I'm doing my doctorate which is quite strange!) And its been feel tricky to balance your life and treatment. Theres a lot of guilt that comes with admitting you arent totally happy with that either!! Balancing family support and concerns was probably one of the hardest parts of all of it. You arent alone in it all.

I hope youre able to still keep parts of your relationship and yourself! Would recommend monopoloy deal during chemo haha and making sure you take some time out for yourself. Even if its just sitting in your car for a bit before going inside, do what you can. What a caring person making such changes to support him, hope you both get through okay! Happy to message if thats a thing on here (I've only just joined today!) 

:)