Why does my husband go distant

I have just seen your post. How are things with you now as I know it’s been a few weeks since my post. We have had a few bumps on the road and in and out of hospital. I’m coping just. Some days are better some are awful. 

Hi, it’s better. He’s much more able to cope with his emotions. He speaks with a MacMillan psychologist weekly and this has been invaluable. 
Health wise, he’s in a lot of pain. 
how are you?

I am in exactly the same boat, although he has bowel cancer.  Seems to be in a world of his own all the time.  Falls asleep as soon as sits down.  He's  grumpy, wobbly, rude.  I miss the closeness we used to have.  45 years together disappearing because of the cancer..  I know its selfish to feel this way.  Keep telling myself to get a grip  and stop feeling sorry for myself, buts its hard.

I came here looking for anything that was remotely like I’m feeling as I thought I was going mad. My husband has throat cancer & is still having treatment so we don’t really know the prognosis yet. It’s his second cancer having had prostate cancer 4 years ago. I feel like I can’t do anything to help and, much like many of you, he is withdrawing and gets angry and irritated by me. Prostate cancer took our intimate relationship and now throat cancer has taken the key parts of what made us - us. I feel so selfish when I feel sorry for myself but I am so lonely and miss him - miss us. I don’t have anyone I can share with so reading the posts here has at least given me reassurance that it’s not just me. Thank you  

Yes it is so sad can be really lonely.  I spoke to my GP earlier this week asking for help.  She was so lovely.  I too feel have no one to share with.  She has given me a few local phone contacts which are in the pipeline.  Also she has recommended medication to help with the anxiety, something I.have always avoided in the past.

I feel your pain, tonight all I seem to be doing is 'nagging'.  Have you taken your pill, have you completed your treatment logs?  The look I got.  Then to cap it all,  he got an ice cream out of the freezer.  At the beginning he told me that the doctors had told him to avoid it.  What can you do when they won't follow instructions!  

At least my medication is starting to kick in.  Not quite as uptight about his attitude as have been.

Exactly this!! I make suggestions and I’m really trying to help but I’m met with aggression or indifference.  Trouble is everything I think to make conversation with is related to food, eating or ‘how are you doing’. It’s getting tense!  

100% my husband has multiple brain tumours, he isn’t him anymore. Try to have days out etc but it’s not working out to make memories but making sure he’s safe and comfortable just takes away from everything. We’ve only been married 9 months chemo started again a week after the wedding then we’ve been told it didn’t work and no more treatment everything’s going downhill. So lonely and missing us so much xx