Just feeling in need of a brain dump here! My widowed 91-year-old Mum was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer last month, so it’s all very new and alarming. She had a stent fitted to help with her eating but - even though it’s no longer painful for her to eat and I’m following all the advice about suitable nutrition - she just doesn’t want to eat at all. If I manage to get her to have an ice cream and a smoothie a day, it’s a success story. The lack of food has meant she’s completely lost energy and has become very listless in comparison with how she was before the procedure. I’m now torturing myself thinking that I probably persuaded her to have the stent for selfish reasons - thinking it would give us longer together and ensure she had a better quality of life.
Also, I don’t actually live with Mum so I haven’t been able to go to my own home at all since Christmas. It’s an hour away and I really need to go back to collect post, check on my house, pick up clothes and get on top of work (I’m self-employed and in danger of losing clients) but I don’t feel I can leave her on her own and don’t feel I can ask friends/neighbours to take on the responsibility to sit with her in her current condition. I’ve contacted Social Services to see if they can provide a care package for maybe two days a week so I can just nip home each week. But even that idea makes me feel guilty. I feel very torn - like a daughter deserting her Mum in her hour of need.
