Hi I am the sole carer for my 88 year old mother who has lung cancer. She was only diagnosed about 5 months ago but has been poorly for the last year. Up until now I have managed caring for her. She’s been housebound for the last year also. I am now have palliative care team involved but have still been managing on my own. She’s just started on morphine for her pain. The last couple of weeks she has mentally deteriorated to the point where she is actually a danger to herself. I’m lucky enough to live 2 minutes from her so am able to go into all the time. I’m a pensioner myself and have been struggling with this. The early hours of this morning my mother’s neighbour knocked on my door to say my mother had come out of her flat and was in the corridor shouting. She has opened all her windows in her flat and done other strange things.
ive gotten to the point where I think a hospice is the best place for her as she is now a danger to herself. I do not want to move in with her to care for her as I’m terrified of all the responsibility of her illness especially now with the change in her mental health. She’s really out of control now for me. I want her to be safe more than anything.
is anyone else struggling with the idea of putting their loved one in a hospice
Hi Janeyjb3751d
With my wife's dad she and her brother coped for some time with him at home but eventually his illness got beyond their ability to cope and somewhat unwillingly they had to take the decision to move him to a care home. It went really quite well though and then they were able to return to the role of loving children rather that offering full time care.
The story with my dad was not so dimisilar.
It sounds very much like you are in a similar position and I think you are sensible to look at somethng that will help keep your mum safe and get the care she needs.
<<hugs>>
Steve
