Feeling selfish - but don't know what to do

I can’t offer advice but I can relate…

My husband has just restarted chemo treatment for his stage 4 bowel cancer. He’s been on this treatment before. It was the first one they gave him. Then he got moved to a targeted therapy which worked great for 3-4 months and then the damn cancer mutated and he’s back on the chemotherapy. He is more angry this time and very tired. Moving from the living room to the bed tires him out - and he is breathing so hard just doing small things. He’s aware that he is more curt and has told me he is sorry but he doesn’t have patience or energy to be thoughtful which I can understand but I feel really alone. We’ve only been married for 2 years and known each other for 2.5yrs and he was diagnosed shortly after our first wedding anniversary. I don’t know how to cope, I just am coping… barely.

Not sure if it helps you to know that you’re not alone in the way you may be feeling.

Hi , I also relate, it's very difficult when your trying your best to help, the effects of the chemo is extremely hard on the person.  My partner of 35 years also gets very irritable with me, but I have decided to keep my head up and tell myself it's really not meant.  

I cannot imagine the pain and stress he is suffering,  so I try very hard to understand even when I want to scream it's not fair.

i think all you can do is your best , don't give up your few hours with your friends you also have to look after yourself.  I think many carers feel the same way you do, so don't feel guilty