Should I be worried

Hi MikeyC

My thoughts are with you. My husband has had stage 4 metastatic bowel cancer (discovered a year ago when it had spread to other organs) and he too is just starting the last conventional treatment. The last treatment didn’t work at all. He is now feeling very fatigued and has to rest a lot. He has said that he feels much more exhausted than before.

We too have been worried about this as recently he became much more tired and doesn’t want to eat much. At the same time, I know it’s a side effect of the treatment as fatigue and nausea/loss of appetite is listed among the various possible side effects! I’m veering between fearful and a bit scared while also trying to keep everything together. There are better and less good days. 

If you can speak to the team caring for your wife, they could possibly offer some reassurance or guidance on how they think she is doing? 

Or maybe try the help line for Macmillan? I know people always say that you need to look after yourself although it may not seem the best time to. 

I hope this is helpful, but perhaps others in this thread will have more suggestions? 

Hello Bookworm, 

Thank you for taking the time to reply, my thoughts are with you to. I am praying that it’s side affects from the new treatment, but my heart is saying otherwise.

The side effects are usually rubbish but this time she seems so different to me, I am a natural born worrier but I can see the fatigue, her breathing is a lot quicker than normal, the cancer is affecting both lungs now as well as her liver and bone.

I will speak to MacMillan as I am really starting to stress, well stress more which I didn’t think was possible but it seems there are many depths of fear and panic with Cancer.

Im still finding this situation a bit surreal even though its been on the cards for 2 years.

Thanks again and I do hope that you, your husband and family are ok.

Kind regards 

Michael x

Thank you for asking this ... I have been wracked with worry about my husband with his recent deep fatigue (sleeping 18+ hours a day) and total loss of appetite. He has aggressive prostate cancer that has metastasized into most of his bones and we are on a new, targeted radiotherapy treatment with hopes of more quality time ... The side effects are supposed to be quite tolerable when compared to chemotherapy but he is struggling with pain and fatigue everyday. How do we know if its the treatment or the disease? Is it even appropriate for me to ask this question?  I try to keep my thoughts entirely in the present moment - if he needs sleep, then sleep is good; if he wants to eat, then have quality food at the ready - not going beyond the immediate and not searching for reasons. I am just not sure how to sustain myself through the hours while he sleeps, remaining completely present as our lives unfold ... suspending my natural reaction to evaluate, plan and prepare. 

Although I am deeply sad that so many people are in this boat, I do find comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing.

Hey Inastrangeland,

I am sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis and that you are also in this situation. I also try to deal with each day as it comes but often look too far forward and wonder where i am going to end up and then feel imediately very guilty thinking that my wife is in a much worse position. Some days i feel that im doing really well and then others i feel completely broken. I am finding going for a morning walk before work is helping to clear my head, although the first 10 minutes are spent feeling guilty as me and my wife used to do this every day and now she is unable to do so. 

The current line of treatment my wife is on is hitting her very hard, she has been so tired for the past 2 weeks (its a tablet taken for 2 weeks on, one week off) this is her week off but she has a large hit of radio therapy on wednesday which will no doubt hit her very hard.

This has been ongoing for the past 2 years and she has been doing so well until a month or so ago, i actually got to the point of thinking shes going to be ok and now not so much she looks unwell which really hurts, i dont want her to suffer and be in this awful postion but am totally powerless to stop it, all i can do is make her time as good as possible.

I am trying to make a plan for each day as at the moment i am just waiting around which is nnot helpful, so today i am going shopping, making a sunday dinner and then we will watch some movies, not much of a plan but when your in this situation its somehtig to focus on.

I hope that you and your husband are ok.

Kind Regards

Michael