The first meeting

I'd just say, be there with him and be his extra pair of ears. Tell him before that in these meetings it is good to have someone to hear it with you so that you both understand it. I'd say talk to him about it beforehand, as whatever worries you have, he has probably had the same (in addition to the fact that he is probably also worried about you). 

The other thing is that, sadly, it is like all those rituals of life where you just need to be present as a witness. 

Good luck to you both.

Hi, so sorry you're having to deal with this. But it's brilliant you can support your dad in this way. From my experience, the first meeting with the oncologist was so helpful. They were really clear and kind. I mean, it's not easy, but they did their best.

I'd say - prepare your questions in advance and take them in writing as a reminder. Take a notebook and write everything down (he won't remember all the things they say, and you probably won't either). Don't be afraid to ask things that seem silly or ask twice. Also, don't be afraid to not ask things if it all feels too much - you can always ask another time.

Have you been put in touch with a Clinical Nurse Specialist yet? If not, push to get one (I had to do that but once we were in touch it worked really well). They are brilliant at interpreting the doctors, and helping you understand what's happening. Our CNS comes to most of our meetings with the doctors and is available for a little while afterwards to make sure we're ok.

Hoping it goes as well as it can for you both.

Hi,

So sorry you are going through this.

I'd also say if your dad is up to it, have a chat to him about what he might want to get out of the meeting, and maybe share your thoughts as well? That way, you are both on the same page when you go in. 

And don't be afraid to ask for a few minutes for a breather if its getting to either of you.