Hi my mum has had ovarian cancer for two years.she has had operations an two rounds of chemo.she has also has blocked kidneys which she now wears bags on her back.and blocked bowels.last week we were told there was no more that they can do for her.we are all shocked..my dad looks after her at home an my sister an I both have young family’s to look after as well as helping dad out as much as we can..she was asked if she would like to know how long she has left but she said no…..the problem with that as my sister an I both feel like we need to know as we are both living in fear of the time coming..we can’t sleep an can’t function day to day as we both feel we need to know just to help mum an for peace of mind….we are all totally devastated…it’s just good to talk .as mum won’t talk about it
Hi Dizzy and welcome to our community.
I get what you mean about wanting to know how long - my wife never wanted a prognosis and I really struggled with that.
It is worth noting though that nobody really knows, the oncology team will make a guess based on averages but who is the average anyway. In terms of the impact on us fear is quite normal, we can also get angry then sometimes pass to acceptance. Lack of sleep is of course a real challenge and their are some tips here.
I bet your mum is really proud of her grandchildren, perhaps one important part to remember and one we talk about often on here is remembering to look after ourselves - I know I got it fairly wrong in the past and came close to breaking and that really helped nobody.
<<hugs>>
Steve
