It's really tough

I really feel for you and well done for being able to keep your cool. Can’t imagine being in your shoes. Hopefully someone on here will be able to recommend something to help. My husband has just been told his cancer in his bladder is back awaiting a third turb. Last time they punctured his bladder doing it and came home with a Catheter  in for ten weeks. He did not accept or get his head round that at all. His was only a catheter not a stoma. He refused to see our grandchildren incase they saw it.  He was mortified if it leaked and detested me having to empty and change it. Like your husband he would shout if I “unintentionally “ hurt him while doing it. I had to keep my mouth shut but god it hurts inside u when they do it. He always said sorry a while after that he didn’t mean to shout at me but the hurt had already been done  I suffer from chronic anxiety and I always keep an elastic band round my wrist and I ping it as a quick distraction while he shouts and a stress ball I squeeze and through at the wall when I was out the room. This doesn’t solve the problem but helps me cope with the situation in a bit. Good luck and I’ll be reading any suggestions. U have your hands full and deserve a medal. Roxy x