31st December 2021 was the worse day for me. My Dad was suffering for a few months with a sharp, horrible pain on his right side near rib area, we told him enough is enough he can't go on like this. So we contacted the hospital and explained everything. Straight away they advised him to come in, after hours waiting the check up and scans he'd had confirmed that he had Lung Cancer. What a way to start a new year! I couldn't believe it and still to this day haven't processed it. It's been so strange to see my Dad go through this especially seeing him cry.
So far he's had 5 appointments since we've found out. But no one has said how far it is to what stage it's at only that it can be shrunk. I've been taking my Dad to all his appointments because I feel it's my responsibility. Even though I am the youngest daughter and just had a baby, it's crazy having to process what is happening. I haven't really spoken about how I feel with it all and just decided to hide it all in. My Dad is the strongest and most stubborn in the family, he's not opening up to how he feels or to talk about it. Some days it's like looking at a different person with this 'thing' taking over my Dad.
What can I do to help him? even when he doesn't want the fuss.
I hate all this waiting and the changes.
HI Melissa
a warm welcome to the group. So sorry to hear about your dad and all that you're going through. These early days are a complete whirlwind of appointments and emotions. It's a total rollercoaster ride! The not knowing and waiting are cruel.
There's no one stop shop answer about what you can do to help, I'm afraid. Be there for him (and it sounds as though you're being a tower of strength for him just now). Be guided by what he wants and needs from you. You've all got a lot to process and that takes time and patience. There's no right or wrong way to feel just now. I know when my husband was first diagnosed, I went through every emotion in the book and then some. Nothing prepares you this, sadly.
This group has been a great source of support for me over the past 17 months. There's always someone around here who gets it.
It’s always good to talk so remember you can call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
I hope this has helped a little. I'm sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong. You're coping so much better than you think you are. I'm sure the baby is a good distraction for your dad too at this tough time.
Hang in there.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
