Tonight I just had a major letdown from a relative who promised to help with something and dropped the ball. I am just so angry and disappointed- someone who volunteers all the time to help but we’ve never actually taken them up on it. We finally asked last week if they could do something critical and very personal for us, and they said yes. Then today I found out they knew all along they couldn’t do it at all and pushed it off on a third party to do. They didn’t want to tell us because they “didn’t want us to worry.” I’m just so angry- it was perfectly fine to say they couldn’t do it and I would have easily found someone else I trusted or even re-arranged my schedule to do it myself. Why do people think taking choices away is taking a burden away? Now I just feel let down and like I can never trust them. I want to maintain good relations with this relative but I also want them to know it is not ok for them to make decisions like that on our behalf. I don’t really know what to do.
Oh Juppy, sounds like you've had a rough day. Hope you're ok.
I understand where you are coming from and I'm not going to make excuses for this person. I'm sure they had their reasons. It feels at times that people who aren't in "the carer" role , unless they've travelled this road themselves, don't understand how hard it is to ask for help in the first place and how important it is that when we do find the courage to ask for help that they follow through.
I try to practice mindfulness where possible and not bottle things up. (Not always easy I acknowledge) In this instance perhaps try to let it go and move forwards. You'll know not to ask in future but don't let this one off tarnish the relationship.
I hope you get your arrangements sorted out.
Sending you a huge virtual hug. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee Me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
Hi Juppy
hope today's been a better day. I'd have been exactly the same if someone changed my childcare arrangements without my knowledge or consent back in the day. My two are grown up now but you're 100% right - she needs to be with folk you are comfortable with and who know how to support her at this difficult time.
Hang in there.
love n hugs
Wee me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
