Nurses Struggle too!

Hi Kimsw

I have seen many nurses come through our forum - you are so right about a little knowledge being a dangerous thing and that is one of the reason we try to make things caring but factual on here. Dealing with a cancer diagnosis hurts and some nurses has reflected that suddenly they do not get time off anymore but just move from caring at work to caring at home 24/7.

You know to that doctors are human too - many patients seem to think the doctor knows everything and some doctors it seems might believe this is true. I was really impressed once when my GP told me "I don't know" - but he knew who to ask.

What helped me - a living with less stress course - focusing on the here and now because as they say "Worrying does not take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace.”. The breathing exercises were great in dealing with the unexpected life loves to throw our way. Transcendental mediation though was not really my cup of tea.

Sometimes people say to my wife that she is so brave - perhaps the one phrase that winds her up more than anything else.

Still sometimes I cry - more often when I see something really nice though especially something really kind.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks for your lovely reply . I have always practised mindfulness which I am trying to persevere with to help me through. My work deals with a life limiting diagnosis as well and this situation  has give me a huge and fast insight into how my poor carers feel. I hope to have others to chat with as no one else really knows how this feels! So thanks again for bothering ! Hope your wife’s journey is less of a rollercoaster and more of a gentle meander ! Kim 

Hi Kimsw

I have replied to you in my own thread but thought I'd say hello here too!

K

Hi Kimsw I'm a nurse too and know how you feel. It really doesn't help, it makes things worse. We always expect the worse! When my husband was in hospital a few months ago and phoned me one day to say he had really high blood pressure, he took it in his stride and didn't think much of it. I went into panic mode and thought STROKE!!! You find that sometimes when people know your job they talk to you like you know what's what...but I just want to say talk to me like I don't know anything, because I really don't! I read between the lines with everything they say, and always jump to the worst case scenario. I don't think there's anything we can do about it, its ingrained in us. I feel like I should have all the answers and know what to do for him, but I don't so just have to try and let the staff get on with it and trust them. I know that every little thing, new symptoms etc, seem really big to us, but they have seen it all before and know what to do. It's hard to hand the control you think you should have over to other people. I hope they get your husbands treatment plan sorted soon to help him and you. Remember to look after yourself too. Its easy to forget yourself, but try to take a bit of time to yourself every day.

Hi 

thanks so much for replying. You sound exactly like me! Tim (partner) had to see his oncologist yesterday band I was convinced that she had called us in to say , that’s the end, she was withdrawing treatment but it wasn’t that at all. I find trusting his team  so difficult and like you constantly think the worst. (I would def have thought CVA ! Haha) Today I took youngest grandchildren swimming and booked a Gardner as a kindness to myself. I have also been trying to use a mindfulness app everyday fir ten minutes. I have also made sure to embrace all support which is difficult for me as I am the one who fixes everything! Anyway , just putting one foot in front of the other and plodding on . Hope you are managing to care for yourself too! Kim x

So glad you had good news. Look after yourself and Tim.