My partner had his first chemo treatment on New Year’s Eve, he has advanced bowel cancer with liver mets. he hadn’t looked very good for a few days before but we were both just eager for him to get his chemo hoping he would soon start to feel better. I picked him up on Friday after his chemo and brought him home, his first cycle was done! However he didn’t look great, pale, Clammy and just not right, we went to bed as he wanted to sleep, I took his temp and it was low but he just wanted to go to sleep, I gave him a hot drink and covered him up, he went to sleep albeit a very restless night, in the morning his temp had lowered to 34.4! I rang the rapid response line and was told to bring him back to hospital, leaving him was the hardest thing, how I drove home through my tears I’ll never know. The plan was for IV antibiotics, fluids, scans and X-rays, I was so worried what they would find when they looked again at scans.
Over the past few days his CRP levels in his bloods have improved however the oncologist has been to see him and told him the liver mets has got worse and that they need to put a plan together quickly to deal with this or they will ‘miss the boat’ he was on his own again (he was told the diagnosis of cancer in his own) due to Covid rules, he’s devastated and I’m totally devastated. Everything seems to be happening so quick, he was diagnosed on 17th November and we have been told this today, I can’t seem to function right. I can’t stop crying and im terrified all the time of everything.
my partner is 45, we haven’t had a chance to accept this diagnosis, deal with it, live with it or anything, our world has just been pulled from under us and I don’t know what to do or where to be, I’m lost, broken and sad, I just don’t want him to be scared or upset and I would give my left arm for someone to just give us a pinhole of hope.
