Hi, been with my wife for over 20 years now and like any relationship lasting past a month or two, we've had the usual issues. Nothing outta the ordinary. Our relationship has been quite good actually as it would have to be to get past the 20-year mark. Or maybe I'm being naive. We also have a teen daughter. But the wife seems to now loathe everything about me.
Anyway, I initially put it down to the diagnosis, the shock and her mortality being placed front and centre, and she was struggling with this. When this began, there were no steroids or any other meds to account for this. So it's not medication/treatment driven. I do know that. She's currently mid way through her EC chemo cycle and she has not changed an iota towards me.
The meat of the issue is, i can do no right for doing wrong. I cook her meals and she hates them. She throws them in the bin, so over a week ago, I stopped making her food. That happened as she began to eat something, and began her usual put downs about the food. Then surprisingly, the daughter piped up and said it was her that made it. It was a lie. The wife then began to backtrack and said she was only jesting, the food tasted good. I do get chemo can alter the sense of taste, that it can affect the appetite and all that, but I was making her what she asked for. This mentality encroaches on everything. Can't clean the dishes properly, clean the house, make the bed etc. You get the idea.
She is completely fine when someone else is in the house. in fact, she raves about the treatment she's receiving at home. I'm the best husband ever and all that malarkey. Same when she's talking to nurses or doctors. I'm the best. So she knows exactly what she's doing.
The most hurtful thing during all this, she told me an ex-boyfriend contacted her prior to her diagnosis, and that she answered him once and cut him off completely. She offered to show me the email, but i declined as I'm almost beyond caring. There i said it. When she seen i wasn't bothered about it (i was, but wasn't giving her the satisfaction) she began harping on about how great he was. Aye, so great that he's now an ex. It's all rather childish.
I fully understand how having a cancer diagnosis can mess with your mind, it messed with mine and I'm not even the one with the diagnosis. But if i'm being truthful, and this carries on for the entire 5-6months duration of all this treatment, I will have packed my bags and begone before then. But i leave due to her behaviour, I'll be the pariah and villain. My family and her family see none of this. i've spoken to them, but I get the same message on repeat "she's going through a tough time"
I don't expect anyone to read all that rant, but i did need to vent. She was never like this before.
