Hello there, I found myself on this forum as I am finding myself angry quite often and not dealing well with my emotions. My husband was first diagnosed at the age of 30 almost 6 years ago with a low grade glioma which they debulked approx 80~ 90%. We carried on a pretty normal life considering after his recovery. We welcomed our 4th baby into the world 3 years later , and just 3 months later told his tumour had returned this time grade 4. They removed the new tumour and then He endured the 6 weeks of radiation and chemo, completed 2 more rounds to be told there were changes and possible progression. He began a new chemo and tumours remained stable until 2 and half years later (sept 21). Unfortunately this time they again could operate however wouldn’t be able to safely remove it all and may leave him with weakness on his left side. He had surgery two weeks ago. He’s lost some use of his left arm and has some weakness on his left leg. This means he can’t cook or clean for himself and needs constant supervision. It’s so hard on him, being used to be so fit and active to having to be looked after 24/7. It breaks my heart, but I’m already finding life hard, looking after him and my children, everyone says take care of yourself but it’s hard, friends come to sit with him but bring all their kids and partners so where I see and opportunity to get the house I’m now hosting for everyone. People are visiting now which is lovely but frustra5ing because he’s spent years and many months well and they don’t bother till now and make my life that bit harder. I’m on constant standby to visitors and maintaining the house and chores as well as my husband and the kids it’s impossible to take time for myself, I’m 36 and mourning the loss of my husband and partner already and constantly frustrated with others. I’m getting cross and not nastily but letting my kids and partner know how tough it is, when it’s not fair on him or them. I love my husband dearly but find I’m dealing with so much I’m not handling my emotions well and certainly don’t want to make his life any harder than it is. I’m just struggling also knowing that he has active tumour and left with these deficits that time isn’t on our side so much anymore and anticipating the grief myself and my kids are going to have. I just can’t help hide my frustration at certain family members constantly visiting when they’ve never been for so long and also ruin my plans in the meantime, I just get no time to just chill.
im sorry I’m rambling I just feel your frustration and understand. I wish I could say after 6 years it’s gotten easier. I think I need to go back onto my Sertraline or maybe start counselling to some effect. Anyway if you got this far thanks for listening and know you’re not alone.
Hi MrsSauv
So sorry to hear about what you are going through. I think many on here will recognize the element of not just looking after a loved one but the full social secretary, running your own family and what can feel like a drop in cafe too,
I wonder have you had a carers assessment? It can be very helpful to find the sort of help you are eligible for so that you can top up your battery. It is generally down to the local authority but sometimes they will work with a local carers group to do the assessment. Don't forget you can ring the helpline here too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
