My husband has just finished 6 weeks of chemoradiation treatment for cancer in his tonsil. He's suffering awful side effects and apparently they can get worse for a couple of weeks yet.
I just don't know how to help him. He says he's happier on his own in the bedroom but I worry that he's getting low and lonely in there all day along with dealing with the awful side effects.
Apart from helping with his meds and popping in and out I can't do much and I'm trying so hard to be upbeat. I feel like I'm starting to annoy him by hovering. I'm trying not to fall apart in front of the kids & keep things as normal as I can. So I'm sitting in the living room in bits again at silly o'clock in the morning. I guess I'm just having a down day but I feel so useless, so helpless and I just don't know what to do to make it better.
HI Jen212
hope things looked a bit brighter this morning than they did when you posted this. We all get "down days" so don't be too hard on yourself.
Like you I've been supporting my husband through his cancer journey (He has a grade 4 brain tumour) Over the months, I've learned to be led by what he wants and says he needs. Neither of us know what they're truly feeling like inside. And if your husband is anything like mine, they're not very good at telling us.
My husband went through 6 weeks of chemo radiation and by week4 he was exhausted. That fatigue lasted for about a month after the treatment ended and during that time he too just wanted to be on his own. It's natural.
I get the feeling useless bit - been there done that got the tshirt- but remember you're going through a lot here too so the emotions are normal and they're allowed. The strongest most resilient people cry. Fact.
It’s always good to talk so do call the Macmillan Support Services on 0808 808 00 00 - most services are open 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week Clicking here to see what is available. This service provides lots of cancer information, emotional support, benefit and financial guidance or just a listening ear.
This group is also a great source of support and there's always someone around to listen who "gets it" and can offer that virtual hug when its needed.
Sending you a huge virtual hug. You're doing so much better here than you think you are. Stay strong.
love n hugs
Wee me xx
Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
